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The Magic Of Making Up – Part 2 – Stop, Don’t Panic! Take A Break And Learn How To Win Back The Love
You are here because you let your emotions get the better of you. You’ve gone and done something out of rage, anger or stupidity which has resulted in you being officially broken up. Alternatively you could have just come out of a really tense and heated fight with your loved one. Either way you panicked. I don’t care whether you’re Superman or Gary Kasparov. Everyone panic’s and everyone flinches. You’re sitting there writing up text messages that start off bad, turn to apologetic and then aggressive again. You are acting out of impulse! You’re love drunk. You’re mental state just can’t handle the thoughts and emotions in your head, and your body is a direct result of those thoughts and emotions. You panic because you lose control. After something like a break-up you basically sitting in no-man’s land- the psychological equivalent of “The Twilight Zone”. What was familiar, is no more; chatting on the phone, going out for a movie or dinner, etc. It’s just not there anymore! That’s quite a large void to fill especially if you have been in a relationship for a lengthy period of time.
Well don’t despair. It’s far from over. You’re only human. If you were the most rational person on this planet you would be perfect. But because no one is perfect and we all tend to lash out in our very own irrational ways there is nothing to fear. We all make mistakes, but we must also acknowledge our mistakes and see where we have gone wrong.
The good news is that you not the only person going through this. There are thousands if not millions of people going through the same thing as you. It’s called Life! You have to learn to work with it, through it and not against it! By that I mean that you should take a break. The break-up or fight is still fresh. It’s no use fighting a lost cause and making a bad situation turn worse. They say time heals all wounds, so my advice is, to take a break and let time do its job. Allow for a cooling off period till all parties come back to their senses. The man has blown a gasket and the female’s radiator is gone. Wait till the internal mechanics do their job to fix up the head and clear the mind before they come out of the pits again.
In some cases you just can’t get away completely. You work with each other, travel together or are bound together by your current situation and circumstance. All I can say is, don’t be a kid. Behave, act your age and greet. Be polite. Be calm and cool even though you are losing your mind. Basically you need your time, and they need their time. You need yours especially because you have a lot of work to do!
Getting back to yourself. Cooling off and thinking rationally after a short period of ‘away time’ always makes the ultimate difference when it comes to reconciliation. You need to work on yourself and figure out if you did anything wrong. Do you need to change anything about the way you are? Take stock on yourself, focus on what needs to get done and plan a strategy ahead.
They need the time because, well, it’s simple really. As much as you miss them they miss you too. Let them also heal inside and come back to their senses. Also remember that by you showing signs of maturity and showing that you respect them, these will aide in the growth of the attraction by the default nature of the ‘missing each other’ element.
So how does this all help you? You’re sitting there either with tears running down your cheeks or with a beer in your hand acting like a typical guy and you thinking “How can I take a break in all of this?” Well to create a healing zone around yourself there are many things you can do. But by large you just have to keep yourself busy. Work till you can’t work no more. Exercise till you can’t walk any longer. Divert all that mental agony, pain and energy into something physical. Go play golf, reconnect with all friends or spend more time at work. Whatever you do is up to you.
The most important step in this whole process is not to fall into the trap of depression. You will feel down and blue but that’s just how it is. People don’t break their bones and get it to magically heal over night. It takes time. You need to make sure you’re avoiding things that will allow you to fall into depression, such as:
- Sleeping all day
- Not going out when invited
- Drinking yourself into oblivion
- Making major life decisions
- And more..
Although all these may be tempting, you’re not doing yourself justice and you’re harming yourself even more in the process then you are actually helping the situation. You are ultimately responsible for yourself and your own actions. Life may not always treat us fairly but we always have a choice in how we deal with life’s challenges. So choose to be positive as it will only benefit you and everything around you.
Check out The Magic Of Making Up
