Getting your ex Boyfriend Back

Winning Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Archive for the ‘how to get back a cheating boyfriend’ Category

Dec
11

5 Steps to Getting Your Ex Back

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Going through a breakup is hard, that’s pretty much universally-known. What’s NOT as well-known is that it really doesn’t have to be, considering you can put an end to all the breakup pain by following a few simple steps to get your ex back. Sound good? Keep reading!

As complicated as the process for getting your ex back really is, it can be simplified and divided up into five steps that make it a lot easier to handle. Consider these to be chunks of a much bigger object called “getting your life back on track.” I’ll try to keep it as simple as I can while still giving you all you need to know about each step.

Step 1: Don’t go rushing to try to get your ex to take you back. This is exactly the wrong thing to do, considering your ex most likely doesn’t exactly want to talk to you right now. Give him/her some space and time to gather his/her wits. Breakups are just as stressful for your ex as they are for you.

Step 2: During the time off from your ex, be constructive. Really analyze how your relationship went awry. What things were YOU responsible for? How could you fix those things so that they couldn’t affect your relationships anymore EVER? These are the things you need to think about, and what’s more…you have to actually take action and change so that you never make those mistakes again! I know that’s a really heavy thing to simply call “Step 2,” but that’s how it is.

Step 3: Once enough time has passed, and you’re well on your way to “flawlessness,” you can go ahead and make contact again with your ex. Remember to keep it very light and simple, just a phone call or email message to see how he/she’s been doing. You don’t want to charge right in with the “please come back” attack, for the same reasons as in Step 1. Just take it slow.

Step 4: After building up contact very slowly and nonaggressively, the two of you are probably going to start spending time with each other again. Use this time to do things together that both of you always really enjoyed. It helps to bring back fond memories and rekindle old feelings. Also let your ex see the effects of the changes you’ve been making, impressing him/her could work to your advantage as well.

Step 5: If all the things you’ve done have worked out, and you manage to impress your ex and achieve a second chance at making the relationship work, now comes a very essential part of it all. If you get your ex back, you have to KEEP him/her. You have to stick to the changes you’ve made in yourself. If you just let it all hang out again, you’ll lose him/her again…and this time you may not be able to get your ex back.

So always remember that sacrifice and compromise is a massive part of any well-running relationship. Both people have needs that must be met, and YOU are concerned with your PARTNER’s. Neglecting what your partner needs is the fastest and most efficient way to make that partner into an ex…possibly, for good.

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It’s a general rule that when your girlfriend decides to leave you, you’ve done something wrong. Chances are, you’ve done a lot of somethings wrong. Fellas, we’re pretty accurately labeled as the dumber of the two genders, and when dealing with creatures as confusing as women, it’s not surprising that we make blunders that make them leave. HOWEVER, we CAN deal with them if we know how.

So that’s why I’m here, to list off the main stupid things we often do to anger our lovely, gentle little flowers and make them grow thorns. What’s more, I’m going to tell you how to get through the stupid things we do, at least the ones I’m covering in this article. Here’s a resource written for a man, by a man, to deal with women in relationships.

1) Number one thing that women hate about guys is that they just don’t pay attention to their ladies. Sure she talks a lot, but it’s USUALLY a good idea to listen to her. Even if she’s talking about things that make absolutely no sense to you, you need to pay attention to her and act like you understand. If she doesn’t get constant attention when she’s speaking, somehow you don’t love her.

Of course, this can be a bit contrary sometimes. You don’t want to pay TOO MUCH attention to her, because that’s considered “weird” or “scary.” Achieving a balance is very difficult, as you have to pay enough attention to satisfy her without hanging on her every word and freaking her out. Since every girl’s different, best idea is to simply listen to figure out exactly what she needs.

2) There’s this term women use…it’s called when a guy is being “emotionally supportive” of his woman. This term means absolutely nothing as far as I can figure…basically it’s just a way of measuring how well a guy knows his girl. It’s kinda related to List Item #1, but a bit expanded. Women are looking for when a guy pays enough attention to a girl so that he knows her almost as well as she knows herself.

There are a few lucky guys out there who come by this naturally, and those are the guys who have “game.” Women naturally love these fellas, because the boys naturally understand the women and what makes them happy. What to say, what to do…it varies from woman to woman, and only astute observation and attention paid to detail can make up for a lack of natural talent here.

3) Of course, there’s the hot-button issue of “cheating” on one another. When girls do it to their boyfriend, it’s not nearly as bad as when a guy does it to his girl…at least by their standards. Heck, most of us know how bad it is, but as I’m sure I’ve said before…we’re idiots. It gets even worse when you realize exactly what constitutes “cheating” in the female mind.

You see, having sex with another woman is only the most extreme case of cheating. Talking to other women, looking at other women, even fantasies including other women can all be considered cheating as far as girls are concerned. Sure, girls can flirt all they want with whoever they want, but to us guys it’s best that we forget that girls other than our ladies even exist…they’re all just funny-looking guys with long hair.

4) And of course, there’s always going to be trouble at home. What I mean is, if you live with your girlfriend…there’ll be issues about how you divide up housework and household responsibilities. Rarely does this in itself end a relationship, but refusing to take out the trash can be a breaking point. Do yourself a favor…do what she tells you. It’s just easier that way.

So why am I telling you all this? What good does it do you if you’ve already broken up with her? Well, this has been a list of things you could do WRONG, right? Well, how about you stop doing these things? It’ll make your future relationships better, and if you manage to get your ex girlfriend back, you’ll have a lot better chance of making it work this time.

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Dec
01

5 Easy Steps To Get Back Your Ex

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I bet you probably already knew how hard it is to go through a breakup. That’s pretty much a rule of the world that most people know. Something you may NOT know is that you can put an end to all that breakup pain by following a few easy steps for getting back your ex. Interested? Read on!

There may really be a lot involved in getting back your ex, but I’ve come up with a way to break it down into a few “chunks” that make it a bit easier to swallow. Some chunks are kinda big, but if you really stick to it, you can get your life back on track easier than you think.

Step 1: Your first impulse directly after the breakup is usually to plague your ex with what I call the “take me back -attack.” This is a BAD IDEA. Your ex will NOT want to talk to you right now, it’s still too painful. Give the poor person some space, and frankly you could use it too.

Step 2: While the two of you are “on-break” and not talking, take advantage of the time you have to yourself to really work on yourself. Figure out any flaws you had or mistakes you made that really contributed to the breakup. Whether the list is long or short, there WILL be one…if there wasn’t, there wouldn’t be a breakup. Once you’ve identified the problems, get to work fixing them! It’s a difficult process, but it’s extremely important that you never make the same mistakes again.

Step 3: By the time you’ve made a lot of progress on your mistakes, it’ll probably be an okay time to re-establish contact with your ex. Keep in mind that this is still a fragile time, so keep it very light and simple. Just a phone call or an email saying “hey, how have you been?” is sufficient. It opens up an avenue of contact, and expresses that you DO care about how they’ve been handling the breakup.

Step 4: If the first contacts work out, you’ll probably slowly start spending more time with each other. During these occasions, don’t be aggressive…just do things with your ex that you both used to really enjoy. This is great for rekindling old memories and feelings. Second, use this time to let the work you’ve been doing on yourself speak for itself.

Step 5: Chances are your ex just won’t be ready for another try, but if it turns out that you two DO get back together, your chief job becomes not to screw it up again. A broken relationship, even one that’s been mended, is still fragile. You have to work really hard to not make the same mistakes again, and make sure your partner’s being taken care of.

In any relationship, there’s a lot of give-and-take. That’s just how it works whenever there are two people involved. Sacrifice and compromise are a part of the natural order of relationships. Remember to make sure your partner is getting what’s needed from your relationship, because if another breakup happens…it’s probably going to be permanent this time.

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Nov
29

Making Up With Your Ex Boyfriend

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If you’re serious about getting back together with your ex boyfriend, let me tell you that it’s not going to be easy by any means. Any healthy relationship is give-and-take, with a healthy helping of compromise and sacrifice…but if you take my advice, your fight to get him back can be a little less difficult.

It’s a pretty reasonable assumption that if your ex was the one who did the leaving, it’s because of one of two things. Either he was getting tired of the relationship growing stale from lack of activity between you two, or he was running for his life from a woman who couldn’t let go and let him live his own life. Either of these two possibilities is plenty enough reason for a man to want to leave.

Getting him back after he’s run away like that isn’t a picnic in a sunny park, but if you stop doing the things that made him want to leave you, you have a pretty decent shot of fixing your mistakes. Take a look at yourself and the relationship, and figure out what things that led to the breakup were your fault…and yes, a lot of it will be your fault. Not playing blame games, just saying that generally the person doing the leaving is having an issue with the person being left.

So take a good look at your relationship problems. There are a lot of different things that could lead to a relationship’s demise, but if the biggest one was one that I mentioned, I can help you out a bit.

If your biggest problem was a lack of activity in the relationship that led to it getting stale, it’s really pretty sad. There’s no excuse for letting a relationship just peter out and expire. If you two love each other, you should do things with each other…spend time with one another, and live your lives together. Being bored with your partner is a tragedy that shouldn’t ever get the chance to occur.

If you were being a bit controlling and refusing to back out of his personal matters and let him live his own life, you need to realize that boxing the guy in isn’t going to prevent his escape. Oh sure, we laugh when we see a guy being hounded by his girlfriend on TV, but in real life it’s a different matter. Having somebody constantly looking over your shoulder and nagging you is horrible, and even if you feel you’re entitled to butt in everywhere, you need to relax a little and have some confidence that he can run his own life.

After the breakup, give your boyfriend some space and time to pull himself together. A breakup is hard on both people, and pressing him now is a bad idea that could only seal the deal. Instead, do this self-evaluation and work I’ve been talking about, and when the time is right you can contact him again. However, when you DO contact him, make sure you’re keeping it light and simple. Too much too fast won’t help you.

If you play your cards right in the initial contact, you guys will probably start seeing each other again face to face. When you get to this point, it’s a smart idea to spend your time together doing things you both always enjoyed as a couple. Doing this stirs up happy memories and paints a better picture of you in his eyes. It could even rekindle some feelings.

And while you guys are spending time together, be sure to allow the work you’ve been doing on yourself to shine out and be noticed. Don’t wave a yellow neon flag that says “hey look what I did,” but if you let it speak for itself, the work you’ve done will probably impress him to no end.

Where you go from here is up to you. I can’t say that any given method will have a 100% success rate, but the advice I’ve given you here is pretty much priceless. If you’re careful in your execution and sincere in your dedication to fixing the problems, you have a very good shot of getting your ex boyfriend back.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

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When your girlfriend breaks up with you, 9 times out of 10 you’re doing something wrong. I’d almost go so far as to say 10 out of 10…but strange things can happen. The bottom line is, women can be a little tough to maintain a good relationship with, but it is possible. You just have to figure out where you went off track and why exactly she gave you the axe.

Now, some girls are kind enough to flat-out tell you every single one of your faults in great detail. That can be kinda handy when you’re trying to come up with what you need to change, but unfortunately not every woman has the patience to go into a list like that, so sometimes you’ll find yourself full of faults with no idea of where to start. Well, that’s where I’ll come in, with a list of some of the most common things us doofus guys do to make our lady leave.

1) Top thing that women hate is when you don’t pay attention to her. I know, completely unreasonable! Girls seem to have this thing where they need to feel like they matter to you, like what they have to say is important to you because you love her. As crazy as that is, it’s pretty vital to any relationship you’d like to have with one that there’s no doubt in her mind that this expectation is satisfied. I advise actually trying to listen to her. I know it hurts, but so do heavy contact sports…and trust me, the points you’ll score with her beat any touchdown.

2) Women usually have some concept of when a guy is or isn’t being “emotionally supportive.” I’m not exactly sure what this means, but I think it has something to do with list item number one…listening. It might also have to do with telling her you love her and buying her stuff. I dunno, watch a few romantic comedies, usually there’s something in there about guys not being “emotionally supportive,” maybe you’ll find something useful.

3) For some really weird reason, girlfriends don’t seem to be too fond of the concept of “cheating,” even if some of them do it themselves. Oh, and cheating doesn’t necessarily involve sex with another woman…sometimes a fantasy of having sex with another woman constitutes cheating as well. Really, the safest bet is to forget that other women exist. All women other than your girlfriend cease to be women, they’re now officially odd-looking guys, and fantasizing about sex with guys is just weird…unless that’s just your thing, and in that case why do you have a girlfriend anyways?

4) If you two are living together, household stuff is a big hot-button issue with the ladies. They seem to want you to help with it or something. I don’t think many relationships ended because you didn’t take out the trash, but they probably made her, like, stressed, or something. Plus, she starts thinking you’re lazy…and she usually doesn’t like that.

But yeah, these are just a few big things girls seem to frown upon. Trust me, there are a million and one other things we can do to tick them off and make them leave, but those are the ones it usually comes down to. Number three in particular seems to drive them away pretty quickly.

So why is this information of any use at all if you’ve already broken up? Well first off, it can help in any future goes at a relationship, with her or anyone else. Also, it can give you an idea of what’s the matter with you, so that you can fix it and make yourself seem more attractive to her. You’ll need more than a good pickup line to get her back, so you have to actually kinda work at yourself to make her want you back. My expert advice is to figure out what your biggest flaws were that helped her make up her mind to leave you, and make yourself not have them anymore. Then, next time you guys meet, she’ll probably see how much more amazing you are and jump into your arms.

Ok, maybe not jump into your arms, but she may be more inclined to give the two of you a second shot. Or third, if that’s how it’s gone.
Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

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Nov
05

Stop the Ache and Get Your Ex Back

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One of the worst times in your life is when the love of your life has broken up with you. A lot of people have a hard time recovering from it, and their lives just kinda seem to slow to a stop. Don’t let this happen to you…there’s hope beyond a breakup, even that you could get your ex back!

That’s right, you read it right. You could get your ex back. Now, I ain’t saying it’s going to be easy…but it’s a shot, and let me let you in on a little secret: even if it doesn’t work out to get you back together with your ex, taking this path will still make you a lot happier.

So how do you take the first steps on this “road to happiness?” Well, you’ve already taken the first one. You’re reading this article, which means you’ve acknowledged to yourself that your life needs some change, and that you’d like to get your ex back. From here, you just need to take some action, and I’ll tell you how!

At this point, you either know what went wrong in the relationship or you don’t. If you don’t know what the true problems were that led to the breakup, you need to sit down and figure it out. Don’t call your ex and ask, this is something YOU need to do. Identify what the problems were, and what’s more…identify which ones were your fault. And don’t be naive…if your ex broke up with you, it’s a good shot the problem lies with you. I don’t mean to be cruel, but it’s just how it is.

You should actually be thankful that the problems are with you. Those sorts of problems, you can deal with. If your problem was just that your ex girlfriend was a bossy, controlling cheater…what could you really do? You can’t change others, only yourself…so be happy that you have something to work on that can make a real difference.

So yeah, figure out what YOU did wrong in the relationship, whether it was something you actively did or something you neglected to do. Whatever it was, do your best to fix it. Make some sacrifices if you need to, but change your wicked ways! Take those things that drove your partner away, and make them as nothing. Turn bad habits into positive habits. If you’ve let yourself go physically, whip yourself into shape! It’s hard, I know…self-work is draining and difficult…but you’ll be oh-so-happy when you’ve accomplished it.

Because you need to realize that YOU as you WERE were not enough to make that relationship stick, and chances are any other relationships would be hard-pressed to endure as well. You need to not just adopt some new behaviors, but change as a person while retaining the basics of who you are that drew your ex to you in the first place. It’s complicated I know, but don’t dwell on that…just do it!

And when you’ve done all you can, and all the things about you that led to the death of your first relationship have met their own demise, you’re ready to make contact with your ex again. Keep it light, start off really simple and easy…and slowly rebuild contact. Let your ex see who you are as opposed to who you were. You never know what kind of sparks could fly.

And you know, here’s where the “even if it doesn’t work you’ll still end up happier” part comes in. There’s always the chance that your ex just simply isn’t interested anymore. Even if that’s the case, the new and improved you is still going to be much more successful than ever before! You’ll feel good about yourself because you know you’re a catch, and that self-confidence paired with all the reasons for the self-confidence will make you look super-attractive. You’ll be more popular than ever before amongst members of the opposite sex, and you’re pretty much destined to find somebody who makes you even more happy than your ex ever did.

So take this advice to heart…make the changes that will change your life. You have nothing to lose by this but the hopeless sorrow you’re feeling now from the breakup, and you have everything to gain. Good luck, my friend. Go get em!

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Oct
29

Getting Your Ex Back After a Fight

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When a fight breaks out in a relationship, it’s important to remember that fights are a perfectly healthy and normal part of any situation involving two people. Most fights can be resolved and the problems dealt with, but sometimes they aren’t handled the right way, and they can lead to a breakup. This is really tragic, because it doesn’t have to be that way.

Before you can learn to fix your relationship, you should learn how to handle fights correctly. One of the big steps to getting back with your ex is to identify and solve any problems that may have led to the breakup. This is definitely important in relation to dealing with fights in addition to any other factors, because like I said…fights are going to happen. If you can’t handle them when they come up, you’re just going to break up again.

So how do you properly deal with a fight? Well, first thing is to remember that everyone has a side in the argument, and everyone has feelings that need to be addressed. Fights happen when a need isn’t being met, whether that need is emotional support or the lack of annoying habits of your partner. Listen to your partner’s viewpoints with an open mind, a willingness to accept that some of this may be your fault.

There is no need for a blame game, everyone is equally likely to be responsible for a problem, and if you want to be able to continue to be with your partner –or anyone for that matter– you need to be responsible enough to own up to the problems you’re responsible for. I know I’m using the word “responsibility” a lot, but it’s an important word…one that’s essential a healthy relationship.

So all right, you’re fighting like civilized people…everyone’s hearing out the other person’s side, and everyone realizes that he or she is responsible for part of the problem. What now? Well, you fix the part of the problem you’re responsible for. If your part is that you’re a bit too bossy, lay off a bit! If your part is that you play too much golf and don’t pay enough attention to your partner, chill on the games and give your partner the attention he or she deserves.

Remember that relationships are 50/50, two-person games. If both people aren’t putting forth a real effort, it’s going to be game over. So when you make your changes, really make the change and also make sure you KEEP the change. If you can’t find enough love for your partner and your relationship to get the motivation to sustain any changes you make to yourself, you deserve to be alone. Harsh, I know…but true. Commit a little, and you’ll be delighted with the results.

Ok, so you know how to get through fights…stay rational, identify the problems, solve the problems, and keep them solved. What does that have to do with getting your ex back if you’re already past the fight and into a breakup?

Well, you use the same skills as when you get through a fight. All you have to do is analyze yourself like you would when you’re in a fight. Look at what you can fix about yourself or your behaviors that will make you more attractive to your ex. Make the changes, keep the changes, and let the changes speak for themselves when you’re in contact with your ex. Chances are very good that alone could do the trick if the breakup was very recent…if not, the site mentioned below can probably help you with anything you need.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

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Oct
28

How to Get Your Ex Back

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When your ex breaks up with you, it can be a really painful time. Things in your life can seem to lose meaning, and you may even question whether it’s worth even trying anymore. Well, SNAP OUT OF IT! If you DO try, you can pull your life back together and quite possibly even get your ex back!

Things don’t have to end where your ex left you…you just have to do 3 things: thinking about what went wrong, fixing what went wrong, and showing your ex that you’ve fixed what went wrong. Now, that’s a really simple way to put it, and it may be a little misleading…so I’ll elaborate on each point.

Thinking about what went wrong doesn’t consist of sitting on your couch sobbing into a bucket of ice cream moaning to yourself about what’s the matter with you. This step is a lot more in-depth, and you MUST remember that this is all about YOU. 9 times out of 10, when a person in a relationship breaks up with his or her partner, it’s because that partner is either not meeting the needs of that person or is doing things to drive that person away.

Either can kill a relationship, even one that was once close. People have certain expectations and needs concerning what they get out of a relationship. That may sound like a selfish take on it, but it’s simple facts: a person isn’t going to stay in a relationship that isn’t satisfying him or her…and of course somebody won’t stay with another person who’s driving him or her away.

You need to analyze your relationship, and figure out which you were doing. Were you pushing your ex away, or were you not providing for your ex’s needs? Once you’ve come to understand what wasn’t going right, you can work on fixing it.

Now, first thing you need to remember about fixing it, is that you can only work on the things that are the matter with yourself. I don’t care how unfair or flawed you think your ex was, you can’t do anything about him or her…only yourself. And keep in mind, this is going to take some real sacrifice and compromise…it’s not just a simple temporary fix, you need to really change yourself and make those things that killed the relationship go away.

That’s not going to be easy, but if you really work hard at it and make yourself a better person than you were when you were with your ex, you could have a real chance at getting your ex back.

The last big thing to do once you’ve identified and dealt with the problem is to show your ex all you’ve done. This shouldn’t be a blatant phone call saying “lookie what I did, I’m better now!” Contact should be gradual, unobtrusive, and nonconfrontational. You’re reinitiating contact not because you want to get back together, but because you care about the person and how he or she is doing.

Once you’ve broken the ice again and you’re spending time with one another again, let the changes you’ve made to yourself speak for themselves. If you did a good job on yourself, your ex will notice…and chances are you may become attractive again.

Now, there’s no guaranteed formula that will get your ex back. Everybody is different, and sometimes things are just too broken between people to be fixed and made anew…but I CAN guarantee you that doing this self-work is going to make you a lot happier. Even if your old relationships don’t start up again, your new ones will be a lot happier, and perhaps you’ll come to realize that life after a breakup isn’t the end, but the beginning.

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Going through a breakup is pretty sucky…there are few things that feel as bad as being alone, especially when just so recently you weren’t alone at all, but with someone you loved. Well, if you had the chance to stop being alone, to get back together with your ex, would you take it? Even if it meant making some sacrifices and compromises, would you do it? If your answer is yes, I have a few tips for you to make the process a bit easier.

1) DON’T swamp your ex with attention. Calling every day, leaving a bunch of messages on their voicemail, sending countless text messages or emails…all this is going to do is make the person absolutely sick of you. Giving your ex a little space and time to pull back together is a great way to let him or her actually have time to miss you. If you just keep harassing your ex (and that’s what it boils down to – harassment or even stalking), you’ll never be able to move past the “mad at you” stage into the “I miss you” stage.

2) DO get out of the house. Sitting around crying all day isn’t the best use of your “downtime.” Get up, get out. Go out with some friends, see a fun movie…just don’t forget to live your life. While you’re out there, you may even meet someone else, and if not, it’ll still show your ex that your every waking breath doesn’t depend on them. This helps a lot because being completely dependant on our ex to survive is just going to make him or her see you as the loser you’re being by not spending your time constructively and simply pining for your lost love. If you get up and get out, you’ll find that you not only become happier, but you become more attractive.

3) DO figure out what the problems were that caused the breakup, and work as hard as you can on fixing them. Specifically, I’m talking about what problems were about YOU. Obviously if your ex wanted to break up with you, there was a reason for it and it probably had something to do with you. “It’s not you, it’s me” is a lie…it’s always you. If you really work on the reasons WHY it’s you, it can stop being you and start being a healthy relationship. Sacrifice and compromise are key in having a happy relationship, so don’t be afraid of making a few changes to yourself, large or small.

4) DON’T jump back too quickly into relationship talks once you get back in contact with your ex. In the beginning, there is simply a sort of “sympathy.” When you first contact your ex, it should be about how they’ve been doing, and when you first start spending time with your ex it should be about just having fun. Do things you both used to really enjoy doing together, it helps to remind your ex of what you two used to share, and he or she will probably start to miss it.

5) DON’T play silly games with your ex. Remember, you dated this person before…he or she knows your tricks. They may have worked the first time around, but that doesn’t mean they’ll work the second time. If anything, it could give the wrong idea that you haven’t changed a bit since those times, and that’ll work against you. Remember, you’re a new person…act like one…but of course continue to be yourself. Confused? Good, you should be. Relationships are crazy.

So there are a few tips for you. This is by no means the bottom line definitive work on getting your ex back, but it’ll give you a boost and probably help out quite a bit. And if you’re really serious about getting back together with your ex, the site below can help you a lot more than I can.

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Oct
15

How to Get Back Your Ex-Boyfriend

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When your boyfriend dumps you, it can be pretty tough to figure out where to go from there. Chances are, you’re not exactly happy with not being with him…but I can tell you one thing, and that’s that sitting on the couch with a bucket of Blue Bunny won’t get him back. There are, however, things you can do to get back on your feet and even get him back!

Now, when a guy breaks up with a girl, it’s usually because he’s either angry with her and acting impulsively (in which case he’ll probably realize his mistake and getting back together will be fairly easy), or that there’s something going on with the girl that’s just not satisfying what he needs in a relationship. Ladies, I’m sure you can understand about a guy having relationship needs and expectations…they’re just a little bit different than the things girls typically require.

Guys really don’t need much, we just want a girl who’ll be a lot of fun to be with. Now, that can mean different things for different guys, but it’s a fairly reliable baseline. Mainly we like to have a relationship stay interesting without getting to be too much to handle. Guys’ emotional ties aren’t nonexistant, but we ARE built to be a little bit more “roaming” in nature…so even if we’re madly in love with a woman, most of us aren’t going to stick around if she drives us absolutely bonkers.

So the way I see it, if he left you it’s probably because of one of two things: either you let him slip away, or you drove him away. I know that’s harsh, but it’s the basic concept here. Letting him slip away means that the relationship just wasn’t exciting enough for him…this doesn’t mean that the sex was dull or that you’re a boring person, all it means is that there just wasn’t enough going on, not enough really enjoyable companionship. Maybe you guys didn’t go out enough, maybe the two of you could never agree on something fun to do together, maybe you worked too much and didn’t have time for him…there’s no telling…but I’m sure you can understand how that would make him feel.

The other possibility is that you kind of chased him out. It’s funny on TV when a woman throws a dish at a guy in a fight and it shatters on the wall beside his head, or when a girl calls him up on the phone every three minutes to demand what he’s doing, but in real life it’s an absolute nightmare. No matter how hot the woman is or how amazing she may be, a controlling girl will make a man run like his backside’s on fire. And a woman may not even realize how demanding she’s being!

So how does all this help you get your ex boyfriend back? Well, the first step to doing just that is to figure out what you did wrong in the relationship, and how you can correct it. You may not want to think about the possibility that your guy was either bored or scared of you…but why else would he leave?

Thinking about this stuff may hurt, but it’s necessary if you want to get him back and KEEP him. Remember that if you get back together with him and you’re still doing the things that made him leave the first time, he’s going to leave again…and this time you may not be able to get him back.

So take some time to think about what things you may have done to contribute to the breakup. Even if he did have some reasons other than your behavior, there was definitely SOME responsibility on your shoulders. “It’s not you, it’s me” is a lie…there’s always at least a little bit of it that’s you. So your first step is to figure out what part of it WAS you. Once you’ve done that, you can work your hardest to stop doing whatever it was.

It’s already been established that the two of you as you were failed to be relationship compatible in the long term…and he’s not going to be changing, so you’re the one who has to do the changing to make you two more compatible. Changing yourself is probably the hardest thing in the world, but if you seriously love the guy and think you two could have another shot at being truly happy, I’d expect you’re willing to at least give it a try.

So do everything you can to fix whatever problems you had that made him want to leave, and then break back into contact with him very gently. No “relationship” talk…no “feelings” talk…just “hey, how you been?” Start slowly. Build slowly. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and a relationship that’s fallen through is infinitely more complex. Take it slow, and eventually you’ll get back to the point where you’re really talking and spending time again.

Use this time to do things together that always made the two of you happy, and let him see the new, better person you’ve become. If he’s not a shallow dirtbag who dumped you for some other girl who promised him new sexual horizons, he’ll see how much you’ve tried to make things better…and you’ll have a good shot at getting him back.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

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