Most of the time when your girlfriend dumps you…it’s not her, it’s you. Guys, we’re some of the dumbest oafs around when it comes to relationships, and we’re always doing SOMETHING wrong. Girls may not be the easiest creatures to understand, and relationships with them can be a bit difficult to manage…but really if you can figure out your problems you can solve them.

That’s why I’m writing this for you, as a friendly man-to-man resource for a few of the things we frequently do that tick our ladies off and make them want to leave. Sure there are women nice enough to painstakingly list off our every faults for us, but not every guy is so lucky as to have one. Not to worry, bro…I will help you through this madness.

1) First main thing that girls really despise when men do is when they don’t pay attention to them. This really drives a girl nutso, because it can feel like they require our every waking moment to be devoted to them and only them, or else we don’t love them. Of course this assumption is completely false, but girls seem to need us to pay constant attention to them.

NOT paying constant attention to them makes them think we don’t love them, but when we DO pay constant attention to them they start acting like we’re freaks. There IS a happy medium somewhere in there, but the exact level varies for each girl. Best solution here is to simply listen to her and figure out what she specifically needs, attention-wise.

2) There’s this concept that women have, called “emotional support.” They need their guys to be “emotionally supportive” of them. Best as I can figure it, it’s kinda related to item number 1 on this list, but a little more expansive. Girls need to feel like their guys really understand them, and can get to know them almost as well as they know themselves.

Guys who can do this naturally are referred to as having “game.” This simply means that a guy is naturally good at reading women and understanding the things to say and do to make their hearts melt. Your supreme goal here is to make the girl feel like she and her feelings are both very important to you…and the best way to do this is to really listen to her and read her body language.

3) Women really kinda hate it when guys cheat on them, even if some of these same girls would gladly cheat on their guys. Of course we all realize this is a no-no, and wouldn’t be too happy if our girls cheated on us…but sometimes we either have a momentary lapse of stupidity, or we don’t realize what exactly constitutes “cheating” in the female mind.

You don’t have to have sex with another woman to be “cheating.” A lot of the time all it takes is a single look of appreciation at another woman’s finer physical “assets” for your girlfriend to take offense. Even fantasies about pornstars or celebrities can be a no-no, it just depends on the girlfriend. Best and safest bet is to forget that other girls exist, and think like they’re just other guys who look different.

4) When you’re living with a woman, helping around the house can become a sore point…she expects you to do it, and you don’t want to. I understand not wanting to get up and clean stuff or take out the trash, but you have to really consider whether or not it’s worth ticking your girlfriend off. Take my advice…just get up off your lazy butt and do a few chores.

So how does this help you if you’ve already broken up with her? Well, once you can identify the things you’ve done wrong in the past, you can start working to avoid doing them in the future. Whether it’s with your now-ex-girlfriend or with a new woman, you’ll be much less likely to make her leave again if you can keep from making these idiot classic “guy” blunders.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

When you’re going through a breakup, things can be pretty darn difficult. Life has a way of just not seeming worth the effort anymore, like there’s really not a whole lot of point in trying to get back on track. Well, that’s the wrong way to think!

Your life doesn’t have to end when your boyfriend or girlfriend decides to leave you! You can get your ex back, you just need to do three things. First, you have to think about what went wrong, then you need to fix what was wrong, and finally you need to let your ex see that you’ve fixed it! That may seem a little oversimplified, so let me elaborate.

Thinking about what went wrong is NOT just sitting around mourning over your dead relationship and interrogating yourself as to what’s the matter with you. Yes, you need to find out what you did wrong, but hopeless whining over a bucket of ice cream isn’t your target means of attack. Remember that relationships usually end because one person either wasn’t getting what he or she needed out of the relationship, or something his or her partner was doing was driving him/her away.

Even a close relationship can be shattered by either one of these. Relationships are two-way streets, and if the specific things that a person needs from their partner aren’t being given, it can cause love to fade and the relationship just doesn’t feel like it should. And of course, who is really going to stick around in a relationship that’s driving you away?

You need to really look at your relationship that just ended, and see what you were doing to make your ex want to leave -or have no choice but to leave. Once you can identify the problem, you can take the necessary steps to solve it.

When you first set out towards actually fixing the problem, it’s important to remember that you can only really do anything about the problems that are your fault. It doesn’t matter what you think your ex may have done wrong, it’s your job to focus on yourself. Whatever you contributed to the breakup, you have to aim all of your self-improving attention at it. There are going to be sacrifices, that’s just part of the process.

Now, nobody said that this will be easy, but let me tell you straight up that it’s completely worth it. If you can do this, not only will you have a much higher chance of making it work with your ex but you’ll also just feel better about yourself in general.

So once you’ve really analyzed, detected, and solved your personal issues, the next step is to get back into contact with your ex. Go slow and be gentle, this is a fragile process that needs to be completed with extreme care. First call or email shouldn’t be about your relationship, just about seeing how your ex is doing. Keep it short, keep it simple.

Eventually you’ll have built up to some real contact again, and the two of you will probably be spending some time together. When you do this, make sure that you spend time doing things you both enjoy, and let the changes you’ve made speak for themselves. Trust me, if you did a good enough job your ex will notice…and from there, it’s all up to chance and how you play your cards as to whether or not you can manage to pull things back together between you.

There’s no such thing as an easy, foolproof fix for a broken relationship, but this formula is about the closest you’ll come by. Remember too that even if your ex just simply isn’t into giving it another shot, that’s not the end of the world. The changes you’ve made to yourself will serve to both boost your confidence and make you a more attractive possibility for a lot of other people…and in a world of six billion people, you’re bound to find somebody who makes you incredibly happy. Good luck.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

When you go through a breakup that you didn’t personally plan on happening, it can be a real rough spot in your life. Being dumped by the love of your life is a really hard fall, one that a lot of people have a hard time recovering from. When you’re still in love with the person you now have to call your “ex,” the entire world just seems crappy…but the good news is that it’s by no means impossible to rekindle the way your ex once felt about you and get your relationship back on track.

Reforging a broken relationship isn’t easy, not by a long shot…but it IS possible. Your ex may not LIKE you much right now, but it takes a seriously cold-hearted person to just flat-out stop loving somebody that occupied a large portion of their heart. There’s very likely still a little spark somewhere in there, just waiting for you to flare back up.

The main question now that’s probably on your mind is “How? How do I make my ex fall in love with me again?” Well, it shouldn’t be any harder than getting him or her to fall in love with you in the first place. Well, maybe a little harder since you have some distance between you now, but it doesn’t have to be some daunting task that makes you curl into a little ball and cry.

All you really have to do is be the person they fell in love with the first time, without the flaws and problems that drove them away. To do this, you’ll have to really do some analysis on yourself, your flaws, and your relationship. Sometimes during the breakup, the breaker-upper will telled the broken-up-with what the reasons are, but not always. Usually the poor guy or girl with the broken heart is stuck wondering what went wrong, so if you’re that guy or girl…your biggest obstacle is finding the problem.

Now, not that that should be really all that difficult. Usually there’s a fairly clear-cut reason for a breakup, although a lot of the time it’s a fair number of smaller things that all add up to be one big thing. Whatever the individual case for you is, you need to dig at yourself and your relationship to find out what really caused the breakup. Once you know what was wrong, you can fix it and make sure it’s never the culprit again.

Remember that you can only do something about the stuff that’s your fault…and YES, if you were the one being broken up with, it was probably your fault. No need to get emotional about it, just accept that you made a few mistakes and that you need to do some work on yourself. And that’s just what you’ll do: once you know what went wrong, you fix it.

If you were being too bossy, take a chill pill. If you were being to lazy, stop taking those chill pills and get up off your butt. If you weren’t paying enough attention to your ex, slap yourself around a bit and start focusing and listening. Any action you were or weren’t doing has something else you can do or not do in order to fix it. Everybody’s problems are different, so whatever yours are…fix em!

If you can do this, and more than that if you can keep doing this, you’re going to look a lot better to your ex than you did even at the fiery beginning of your relationship. And don’t forget to maintain the person you were before! A lot of people gain a lot of weight during a breakup depression, make sure you keep in shape! Remember, you want to look GOOD to your ex. Irresistibly good, undeniably good, absolutely magnetically good. A beer gut or Ben & Jerry’s thighs aren’t going to make your ex come running back slobbering for some lovin’.

Once you’ve made yourself as irresistible as possible, you’ll start to realize that even if you don’t get your ex, you’ll start drawing the attention of other members of the opposite sex as well. This’ll boost your self-confidence and make you look even better to your ex. Seeing how well you’re getting along IS a lot more likely to bring him or her come running back for some lovin’.

And even if somehow you don’t make your ex swoon with newfound passion for your flawlessness, getting out there and feeling good will do you a lot of good. More likely than not, you’ll realize that as much as you love your ex, it’s not the end of the world that you’re not together anymore. You can get along just fine without him or her, and there are a lot of people in the world…more than just one is going to be able to make you happy…and with the work you’ve done on yourself you’ll probably be even happier than you were before.

If this article doesn’t give you enough of a boost to jump up and start renovating your life, there’s a lot more information and inspiration to be had through the link below. Just remember, life doesn’t end at a breakup…there’s always a chance to get your life back together, and how good of a chance that is depends entirely upon you.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

Breakups suck, they really do. If you’re going through one right now, I doubt I have to tell you that. Chances are, you could be thinking such things as “why me?” and “what did I do?” Well, there are a couple particular things that women usually do that contribute heavily into the end of a relationship, and I’m here to tell you what they are so that you can see if maybe they might apply to your case, because once you can identify the problems you can usually fix them.

These things are so common that they can almost seem like cliches, as you’ve probably seen them in almost every romantic comedy ever made. Yes…I’m a guy and I’ve seen quite a few of them. Don’t look at me like that, I have a good relationship with my mother and she likes to watch those sorts of movies…

But anyways, you’ll probably recognize these as things you’ve seen before, so you run a good chance of being able to do something about them. Not only will I tell you what these problems are, but I’ll draw from my vast basin of chickflick knowledge to tell you how to help heal a relationship that’s been disrupted by each. (Just kidding, I know a little more about this stuff than just what I’ve seen in movies!)

1) One of the all-time number one ways to make a guy run away screaming and tearing his hair out is to be obsessively, overwhelmingly, incessantly needy. Being all clingy, talking about the dreaded feelings, using the “L” word way too fast and way too often…these make a guy feel trapped, confined, and claustrophobic. A guy who is faced with an overly affectionate girl generally wants to get OUT as fast as possible. It’s just too much to have to handle being smothered like that…guys need some breathing room!

A relationship that’s been ended by a guy running away from this is pretty difficult to mend, as the poor man’s probably terrified of you…but it can be done. You’ll have to seriously kick yourself in the rear and straighten out this kind of behavior, but really getting any relationship back together is going to require some self-change. You just have to try really hard to not be so oppressive and controlling in your affections. This kind of thing can also bleed over into being really bossy as well…a lot of guys like strong women, but very few like being ordered around. These two things are fairly related, which is why I sorta lumped them together…they both make the guy feel trapped…and the only way to heal a relationship like that is to give the poor man some freedom.

2) Another reason why a lot of guys end relationships is because it’s all gotten stale and boring. I’m not saying you need to “spice things up” in the bedroom, as that’s only one type of this sort of problem. More often than the sex getting boring is when the relationship itself gets boring. When the two of you don’t pay much attention to each other anymore, when you don’t really do anything fun and exciting anymore…that’s what I’m really talking about here. Being stuck in a relationship where every conversation is the same, and nothing has any “flavor” anymore…it’s as frustrating as being stuck with a controlling she-demon, and guys can go stir-crazy from it.

Working on a boring relationship is probably the easiest of problems to fix. Just find things you both enjoy doing, and do them together! Sex doesn’t count, unless a serious lack thereof is the chief problem. Find ways to make your relationship more enjoyable for both people…remember that even if you’re satisfied, he may not be…and for a relationship to work out, bother people really need to be happy.

3) I can’t say I really wanted to mention this, but today it’s been getting to be more and more of a problem…cheating on one another is a really serious thing that usually ends all but the strongest relationships…or the oddest, but that’s another story. It’s been kind of stereotyped as a guy’s thing to cheat on his girlfriend or wife, but these days it happens just as often – if not MORE often – with a girl cheating on her man. There’s no excuse for this, there’s really no reason why a person should betray their love’s trust like that, but people do. I’m sure that if this is applicable to your case, you already know it…you probably hate yourself for it too, so I’m not going to berate you about it.

However, nothing really shatters a relationship like your partner being unfaithful. It’s such a betrayal that healing and accepting it is close to impossible. Not only do you feel betrayed when your partner cheats on you, but you start questioning yourself as well, wondering why you weren’t enough for the person you love. Sometimes you even start to question whether or not your partner ever really did love you. It’s a serious wound, and healing is a really hard process. People have worked it out before, but it requires a lot of tentative care when going about mending such a severely broken heart. Best thing to do is give him some space…if you end up being able to talk to each other again, there could be some hope, but for now it’s best to back off a bit.

Whatever the problem is that caused the fracture in your relationship, absolutely essential to healing the relationship is to never repeat the offense, especially in the last case. A strong relationship can bounce back from almost anything, but not if whatever hurt it originally continues to tear at it. Identifying the problem and stopping it from ever happening again is the first and most important step to rebuilding your ex’s trust and eventually getting back together with him.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

Getting back together with an ex boyfriend isn’t the easiest thing in the world, but with some self-work and a few helpful tips it can be done. As with really any attempt to rebuild a relationship that’s fallen through, your main goal should be to show your partner that you’ve dealt with any problems you may have had that contributed to the end of you two, and I can show you how to best achieve this.

Chances are good that if your ex boyfriend was the one who did the “breaking up,” it was either because the relationship became stale or claustrophobic. Translation: either things were slowing down “between you,” or you were nagging the living daylights out of the poor guy. Men really can’t handle an overbearing woman, and if they’re faced with being trapped by a controlling she-devil…they usually run.

So how do you get him back? Well, stop doing the things that drove him away. Analyze yourself and find out why he left you, and take all the steps you can to “fix what’s wrong.” If you don’t do this, any attempts you get back with him will fail even if they succeed. Even if he does take you back, the relationship is pretty certain to go the way of the first.

So take the initial “standoff” time when you just break up and aren’t talking to each other to get yourself motivated for some self-renovations. Give him some space, don’t bother him while he’s taking some time to heal up, and use that time and space of your own to do some repairs as well. Work on your attitude, any irritating personal quirks you may have that could have driven him away…whatever you think contributed to the breakup. I know you probably don’t like hearing me fire off all these insulting potential flaws, but they’re things to consider if you want to get him back.

Once some time has passed, and you’ve done some work on yourself and he’s had time to recuperate from the breakup, you can make contact with him again. Remember, this isn’t to talk about your failed relationship or try to get him back right here and now…when you first talk to him again you should be inquiring about how he’s doing, just checking in on him. I’d imagine he probably knows how much you cared about him while you were together, and he’s probably not going to consider it odd that you care about how he’s doing right now.

Start off slow and light. Build up contact gradually, over a period of time. Eventually you two will get a little more comfortable with each other again, and then you can see each other again. Invite him to do something fun that the two of you used to really enjoy doing together. This sort of thing should help him remember the great things about being with you, and it’s a good chance that he’ll miss it.

When you’re together, do your best to show how much you’ve changed about yourself, how those things that drove him away aren’t a part of you anymore. It’s really important that he sees how much you’ve improved. Another good idea is to try to stay in shape or get back into shape if you’ve had a couple pitfalls. Obviously you want to appear attractive, and you may actually get more benefits from it than attracting just his eye. If other guys take notice and express interest in you, it’ll not only boost your self confidence but also draw his attention as well. It seems a little low-down and dirty, but a little jealousy can go a long way. I’m not saying to act on anybody who may be flirting with you, but getting some attention is a good thing, because it can lead to getting HIS attention.

The most important thing that I can tell you is to learn from the mistakes of the first relationship, and don’t repeat them. If you charge right back into a relationship with him without changing the things about yourself that caused problems the first time, you’re just setting it up to fail again and break both your hearts again.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

Getting back your ex girlfriend isn’t going to be an easy task…anybody who says it is easy has never had to do it. It takes a lot of time and effort, and there’ll be times when you wonder if it’s even worth all the trouble to get back somebody who hurt you so badly…but if you remember what drew you to her in the first place, and think of the reasons that being with her made you so happy, I’m sure you can find the strength and motivation to see it through.

Guys and girls are wired a little differently…not so differently as some will have you believe, but it is true that women are more driven by their emotional sides than most men typically are. Chances are good if she ended the relationship with you that her emotional needs just weren’t being met. You’re going to have to do some changing in yourself and really let that be evident in you if you plan to try to get her back. She’s not going to give the two of you another try if she doesn’t feel that you’ll be any better-equipped to provide her with the emotional support she needs.

The first thing you’re going to need to do is get back into contact. Always remember that if it’s been a little while since the breakup, she may be seeing other people. I know that has to hurt, but try not to barge in and ruin a relationship, it’ll only make things worse. Use your best judgement when choosing a time to contact her.

When you do end up face-to-face with her, don’t just try to convince her to take you back. Communicate, and don’t forget that communication is a two-way street. You have to listen to her. Not only will she feel a bit more appreciated if you’re truly attentive and obviously care about what she has to say, but it’ll also make it easier for you to pick up on any signals or nonverbal cues she might give off.

And don’t play around with her…make it clear through the use of subtle signals just what you hope for concerning the two of you. Don’t “bare your soul” to her…these talks don’t always work, and if you put too much down on the line you could end up being hurt pretty badly. But make sure that you avoid leaving yourself too vulnerable while still making it evident that you care about her, and always be attentive.

Another thing that can help you a lot is to make sure you’re staying in shape. If you’ve previously had a couple pitfalls, now is a great time to work towards getting back into shape. There is very little in the way of motivation as powerful as trying to get back someone you love, and looking better than ever will certainly draw her eye.

Always remember as well that when you’re making all these changes to yourself in the hopes of getting her back, you better be ok with the new person you become. If you just can’t handle the compromises you’ve made, you’re only raising the chances of further separation and heartbreak down the line.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

There are a lot of things that end relationships every day…some problems can be forseen while others can’t, but if you can recognize and identify what problems are plaguing your relationship and threatening to make it into a thing of the past, you can usually get it back on track. That’s why I’ve written this for you, as a compiled resource of the 4 most common relationship-enders and how to lessen their damage.

1) Nothing absolutely destroys your partner’s trust, feelings, and willingness to forgive you like cheating on him or her. I wish this was one of those dark things in the world that is so rare as to barely exist, like Ebola, but unfortunately it’s not just already incredibly common but on the rise as well! The best way to keep infidelity from killing your relationship is to NOT CHEAT, but a huge portion of the population apparently doesn’t know how to keep their pants on. All you can do is beg for forgiveness and really TRULY change your ways if you fall into this mistake.

2) The feelings of the one you love should matter to you, and it’s not unreasonable for your partner to expect some indication of that on a regular basis. Unfortunately, a lot of couples neglect to show each other proper appreciation of one another’s feelings, and it can lead to some rocky times and even breakups. Prevention is easier than resolution, but either can be accomplished by letting there be no doubts that your partner’s feelings are of utmost importance to you.

3) Fights are going to happen, it’s a natural part of any relationship, but when things get out of hand it starts to really pose a problem. You can’t let yourself lose your head over everything, and you need to take fights for their constructive purpose of addressing important issues in the relationship that could cause a lot of trouble if left undealt with. Remember why you two love each other, and take the bad with the good.

4) You watch enough romantic comedies, you’ll end up seeing some supporting character who’s there for the comic relief of being absolutely chained to his girlfriend and can’t do anything without getting a phone call interrogating him, or coming home to find her standing on the porch demanding where he’s been. In the movie, everyone laughs as he gives that dramatic but good-natured sigh and walks in saying “yes honey, sorry babe.” In the real world, being in a controlling and trustless relationship is far from funny…it’s a psychological and emotional form of abuse. Don’t let that demanding person standing on the doorstep be you, have a little trust in your partner.

The list can go on and on, but these are some of the biggest concerns today as far as what can affect your relationship the most. Whatever your conflict is, it should be resolvable even if it’s difficult to do so. Just remember problems like these and make sure they don’t ruin your shot at happiness with the one you love.

In the time immediately following a rough breakup, it can be easy to fall apart. Here are 5 tips to help you get through this time, and not only survive but come out on top…even with your ex back at your side.

1. No matter how much it feels like your life is all but over, you have to still keep going. Letting life pass you by will only leave you further and further behind, and you’ll never recover fully. Have the strength to stand back up and keep going even if life has knocked you down.

2. Too many people seem to feel that drugs or alcohol are an easy way out from the pain, but in truth it’s just an escape that can damage you more than help you. Find healthy ways to deal with your broken heart…seek help in your friends and family, or things you enjoy.

3. Cut off all contact with your ex for about a month. This has an entire list of positive effects, but the main one you should worry about right now is the break it gives you to pull yourself together before trying to get him back. The time away from each other will help both of you balance yourselves out, so that things can run more smoothly after the month is up.

4. First impulses are often bad ideas in this situation. Go by what your mind tells you, not what your broken heart pleads with you to do. Breakup situations are often very fragile, and an emotional or instinctive response to them often causes more harm than good. Use your logic, not your feelings.

5. Be willing to accept that you two may not be destined to be together…but don’t let that hold you back from giving it your best. 95% of breakups can be fixed if handled properly, but there is that chance that you two aren’t each others’ true soulmates. Be prepared for that possibility, but do your best to solve the problems you face.

These 5 words of advice should help you a lot in getting through this time and coming out successfully living your life, but only if you heed what they say. Remember this information, and you should have a lot simpler time surviving this breakup.

Probably the most important thing I can tell you is to have a plan. Going into this without an underlying strategy would be disasterous, as typically these situations don’t work the way they seem like they should. They can be tricky, so don’t get tricked! Use your month of freedom from your ex to work out a real plan, so you can know what you’re doing before you’re stuck staring your ex in the face and wondering what to do or say.

I know it sounds completely opposite to what you expect would work for getting your ex back, but the truth is severing all contact with your ex for about a month can really help you get him back when that month is over. There are numerous reasons why this is so, and here are just a couple.

1) If you’ve been fighting with someone, isn’t it usually helpful to take a break from them rather than risk even more fighting? This is definitely the case for freshly broken-up couples, especially when you intend to eventually give it another go. Staying in each others’ faces will just cause more conflict, so break it off for about a month.

After that month of peace, you and your ex will be a lot less actively hostile. Breakups spin a lot of emotion around, and once that’s settled some real healing can begin…but not before. If you give yourselves this break, the results will be way more successful.

2) Just because you’re not actively fighting, don’t think this doesn’t apply to you. Even the nicest post-breakup relationship needs to have a break in it if you ever want to rekindle old feelings. If you two are still together after the separation, it’ll be like you never did break up and your ex won’t feel any need to get back together.

It’s like the old expression “you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone.” If you’re still there, he can’t miss you, and he won’t full understand what he’s missing out on by having broken up with you. If you’re still friendly after a breakup, there’s still something there that could be a seed for another shot…but if he never understands that he really doesn’t have you anymore, he won’t feel the need to take you back.

3) When everything’s going to pieces, and your ex is right in front of you all the time, it can be hard to make the right decisions. Flying by the seat of your pants reacting instead of just acting, you’ll find it a lot tougher to work this out. What you need is some time and space alone to develop a plan of action.

People in this situation can act really oddly, and to get the results you want you may not be able to just naturally come to the right choices. You have to have a plan, or you’re shooting in the dark and will probably end up hitting yourself in the foot. This freedom of time and space will let you reason out a plan that will actually work, rather than just doing whatever feels right (since it’s often actually the wrong idea).

Any person fresh out of a breakup with the intention to get her ex back should take this advice seriously. You’ve seen a few of the reasons, so I’m sure you understand the benefits of this separation…actually doing it can be hard. It’s tough to be apart from the person you care for, but in some ways that’s what you’re banking on. Just rest assured that this will help, and when you get through it you’ll find it much easier to find happiness again with your ex. I wish you the best of luck.