Relationships have their ups and downs, that’s just the way it is. There are going to be fights, it’s even healthy sometimes to have a few conflicts. However, in order to keep these little spats from causing any real damage, it’s really important to know how to make up after a fight. Luckily, there are several different ways of accomplishing this.

Right after you get into a fight, your first impulse could very well be to run off and cool down before you work things out. That’s fine, it’s normal to feel that way…but you do NOT want to actually do it. Running away and avoiding the issue is only going to make things worse, dragging the fight out and keeping both of you resentful and angry. I mean, a little cooldown is fine, but don’t take any more than a max of 20 minutes to get yourself in order. It’s pretty important that things are dealt with promptly, you just need to be a little more level-headed.

And even if you’re really angry with the one you love, always remember that you do love him or her…too many relationships have taken a turn for the worse because the fights that are a normal part of any relationship left one or the other feeling like the love between them had been lost. It’s essential that both of you remember what brought you together and why you love each other, even if you don’t particularly like each other at the moment.

Make sure you don’t hold anything back when you’re discussing the problems…don’t be bitter or purposefully hurtful, but make sure your feelings are gotten across to your partner. Holding back will just make it harder to really fix whatever’s wrong, and when nothing gets better you two will just grow further apart. And don’t take all the spotlight, listen to what your partner has to say as well. Relationships go both ways, and if either of you is still unsatisfied with how things are going, it’s just going to get worse. Be calm, be reasonable…if you don’t put forth that effort, nothing will get fixed.

And never forget that you share the blame. It does take two people to fight about something, and chances are very good that as much as you’re mad at your partner, he or she is probably mad at you as well. Nobody is clear of blame here, and it all needs to be addressed if there’s going to be any healing going on. Talk with him or her, and work out a way to solve your problems, usually through some sort of compromise. A fight doesn’t end when somebody “wins,” only when a peace is achieved.

Remember, don’t target your partner as the cause of your troubles…bring out what really is causing the problems and get it taken care of. Once both of you have settled down and understood one another and what made you two fight in the first place, you’d be surprised at how truly sorry you’ll both be about hurting each other. Talking things out is the healthiest way to really solve your problems, and it usually leads to a heartfelt mutual apology and an even stronger bond between you.

Never forget that a relationship is between two people, and yours aren’t the only feelings that matter. There will be just as much conflict if you hurt your partner’s feelings as if yours are the ones who get hurt. Never let anything make you forget how much you love each other, and don’t let petty squabbles fester and boil until you doubt whether or not it’s worth the effort to maintain the relationship. More great couples have been ruined by the simple fights of life, and even serious problems can be worked out if you take on a mature manner and deal with them as soon as they come up.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

I hope you are having a
*GREAT* Wednesday.

I’m feeling energized today
and hope you enjoyed my
article on How to Make an Apology
a few days ago.

Today I’ve got a recommended
resource that has personally
helped me and many others..

———————————————
THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP
———————————————

remember when
I told you I thought my relationship
was cursed?

Well I tried everything under
the sun to improve it

- Writing Her Letters

- Buying Her Flowers

- Meditation under a
tree (Well I’m just kidding
on that one )

But seriously..

I really wanted to save my
relationship and get back with my
ex!

And after a long time I
discovered an *INCREDIBLE*
system by T.W. Jackson.

(I’ll give you the website in
a moment)

I studied his materials and
like 100’s of other success
stories on his website I
saw *HUGE* improvements in
our relationship in a short time frame.

If you would like to restore
your relationship, check out “T-Dub’s”
e-book below

Yes , I want to Reunite
with My Ex

Hope you enjoyed today’s
issue and I look forward to
hearing from you soon. (I want
to get your opinions on something)

“The Fix it Guy”

PS: I tried almost everything out there.
“The Magic of Making Up”
got fast results.

Men & Women Keep Score Differently

You HAVE to understand how your partner is keeping score in the relationship…it is also essential to understand in order to get the relationship back on track.

Both men and women do keep a sort of point system subconsciously.

-Men typically award more points if an action is BIG, and less points if an action is small.

-Women typically give one point no matter how big or small.

Reread that if you need to…it sounds like no big deal…but it is a huge factor in having a successful relationship and recreating a successful relationship.

The big problems come when we try to win points. We feel like the partner is keeping score just like us, so we do what we think would give us a good score, but it doesn’t work like this.

So say a man wants to score “points” with a woman. He thinks like a man and says to himself…I am going to do something REALLY BIG and score a lot of points at one time…

“Yeah…then I am set for a few weeks… maybe even a month!”

So…he goes out and does “something big”…like buying a very expensive piece of jewelery…

Which any woman would be more than happy to receive…

But…

The problem is he then mistakenly calculates that he really doesn’t need to do anything more…for a while…

Now…MOST women…if given a choice between getting a piece of jewelery OR…getting a love note one day…an unexpected “I just called to say I love you” telephone call the next day…a single rose the next…and many SMALL things often…will go with the “many small things often” over the one HUGE thing 90% of the time.

Does that make sense?

Does it make sense now why some arguments go like this:

Woman: “Why don’t you bring me flowers anymore?”

Man: Very…very aggravated…”WHAT?… I just bought you a gold necklace JUST LAST MONTH!”

Ever sound familiar?

You see…all along he’s thinking he is good to go for quite some time BECAUSE that is how MEN KEEP SCORE.

(Note: Gentleman if you are thinking “How can I come up with so many ways to earn points with her?” Visit this link right now. Click Here.)

Now ladies…this works…or doesn’t work in the reverse too. Women generally do nice “little” things every day…

And they mistakenly believe they are “racking up” a lot of points.

Pick up his dry cleaning 1 point

Give him a back massage 1 point

Leave him a little love note 1 point

and on and on…

But what happens? A big argument ensues because she feels she has racked up all of these points…and he never shows any appreciation for all of the points she has earned.

See…in “his” mind he does appreciate those little things…but he doesn’t keep score that way…and is not going to make a big deal out of a few one pointers.

See, the girl would be much better off…if she would have just bought tickets to a BIG ballgame…she would have scored like 50 points all at ONCE…and SHE would be good to go for weeks! And he would tell all of his friends and thank her profusely as well as NEVER FORGETTING the time she bought tickets to the big playoff game.

Cuz’ that’s just the way it works with men.

(Ladies want to know ways to score HUGE points with men? Click Here.)

So how do you use this to win back your ex boyfriend’s, ex girlfriends or ex spouses heart?

Pretty simple…

Guys you will be much better off doing a series of small things.

Gals you need to figure out ONE BIG thing.

But if you are “on the rocks”…it is a little more difficult…right? There is a way to get around this…

Guys I highly recommend The Magic Of Making Up because this will get you “back into position” to score the points quickly.

Ladies…if you are confused about if he still cares…With the resources in The Magic Of Making Up you can find out today. Plus, learn easy things you can do to rack up BIG points and some other wonderful easy to implement techniques. (And No I don’t mean SEX.)

Check it out here:

How To Get Back Your Ex

Both of these guides have my highest recommendation because they work and are very inexpensive. If it is important to you to revive your relationship…it would be silly not to have these at your side.

The 7 Common Mistakes People
Make When Trying to Get Back
Together With Their Ex’s

Part 2 of 3

Mistake 3: Manipulation

Your goal in getting back your ex is to repair and regain a relationship that is valuable to you. This is an admirable intention. But, admirable intentions do not justify the use of any means necessary.

Using kids, money, sex, or any other kind of leverage available to you to coerce your ex into coming back to you is not only unkind, your ex will lose respect for you.

These tactics backfire much more often than they work. Your ex is likely to see through what you are doing and only resist your attempts with more resolve than ever before. Their recognition that you are manipulating them will only be another reason they don’t want to be with you.

Even if you were successful at getting them back, the long term consequences would not be favorable. Forcing someone to do something creates resentment. Resentment is relationship cancer.

Don’t entice your ex by teasing them sexually hoping that if they get frustrated enough they will sleep with you and then you’ll have leverage. Don’t make them feel unnecessary guilt about not being good enough parents to their kids just so they will come over more often. Don’t offer them money hoping that they will become indebted to you. Don’t get together with another person and rub it in their face just to make them feel jealous.

Manipulation, in any degree or to any extent, no matter how small or insignificant, will create a tear in the relationship.

Avoid it altogether.

The kind of relationship that you want cannot be based on underhanded, conniving tactics. Don’t be so shortsighted that you sacrifice what could be a healthy, long-lasting relationship for your immediate gratification.

If you have been using a manipulative tactic you need to spend some time examining yourself and your feelings for your ex. How much do you really care about them if you are willing to use such hostile and devious tricks on them? Maybe they are better off without you if you don’t care about them enough to resist resorting to such unfairness.

Out of all the mistakes that someone can make when they are getting back their ex this is probably the worst because it reflects poorly on you as a person. I hope that if you’ve been trying manipulation to get back your ex that you will instead take a look at what my book can offer you.

Mistake 4: Reasoning, Persuading, and Arguing

The other day I was reading an ad for that beautiful new iPod I want to buy. You could say that I was reading it because I was hoping it would convince me to finally plunk down the cash… because I DO want that iPod in my hands.

I also read a somewhat negative review of the new iPod. I already have an older iPod (the ones with the black and white screens) and I know that they are spectacular products – easy to use, reliable, and very chic. So, as I was reading this review and the author was picking on so-called “flaws” I’m thinking to myself “Hmm, I never had a problem with that,” “There is a solution to that, Dummy,” and “You don’t know what you are talking about!” Basically, I was arguing with the reviewer in my head.

My point (yes, I DO have a point) is this…

Words are persuasive when they are convincing us to do something that we already want to do. We go along with it without resisting. But, when words are trying to persuade us to do something that we don’t want to do, they can actually make us more firm and confident in our decision because they force us to come up with counter arguments. In other words, they backfire.

Trying to convince your ex to get back together is trying to get them to do something that they already decided they don’t want to do.

As you are saying…

“We were so good together. Do you really want to throw that away?”

Your ex is thinking…

“Yes, that’s why I broke up with you. Things weren’t that great anyway. We were always fighting. I think I am better off with someone else.”

When you try to use persuasive arguments you force your ex to come up with equally persuasive counter responses – reasons why what you are saying is wrong and what they are doing is right.

You are asking them to explain and justify their decision… and in the process of doing that they are reinforcing the idea, in their mind, that you SHOULDN’T get back together!

The more you push the deeper they have to dig their heels into the ground to keep their footing. You are solidifying rather than dissolving their justifications for the break up.

As with all the other common mistakes people make when trying to get back together with their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend, people unintentionally hurt their chances of getting back their ex.

It seems logical, it’s very tempting, but remember: arguing with your ex about why the two of your should get back together is like trying to talk me out of a new iPod… it just isn’t going to happen.

If you are looking for a more effective way of getting back together with your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend I encourage you to learn more about my ebook “How to Get Back Your Ex.”

Mistake 5: Reassurance You Have Changed

A person’s habits and personality are relatively stable over their lifetime.

We all know this. None of us expect someone to be a completely different person with a different personality the next time we see them. None of us expect to wake up in the morning with different dreams, desires, and impulses. We expect a person’s behavior to be consistent with their past behavior. And, based on experience, this is a reasonable expectation.

Who you are today is basically who you are going to be tomorrow. Who you are this year will be very similar to who you are next year.

Dramatic, lasting changes just don’t usually happen outside of Hollywood.

Telling your ex that you have changed and that “things will be different this time” is asking them to believe something that is intuitively untrue and contradicts their life experiences.

You are saying “I’ve changed. I’m a different person and things will be different now.” But, the truth is you haven’t changed… you are saying that you are going to try to be a different person in the *future*. You may honestly feel like you are able to change your future behavior but that does not mean you are a changed person. It’s an important distinction and one that your ex will automatically make as soon as the words come out of your mouth. It’s a promise to be fulfilled at a later time, not something that has already occured (like you are claiming).

It’s not an effective approach to repairing your relationship and getting back together with your ex. I wouldn’t advise it to anyone. It’s a lame (though unconscious) attempt to decieve you ex… and they will probably see through it.

Rather than telling your ex that you’ve changed it’s much more effective to SHOW THEM that you’ve changed. There are very specific ways of doing that and I outline them clearly in my book. If you have the time (5 minutes or so) you should defnitely take a moment to read more about it.

Getting back an ex is a complex problem. There are many ways to make mistakes and many subtle things that must be addressed to increase your chances.

If you would like a step-by-step plan for repairing your relationship and getting back your ex feel free to learn more about my book “How to Get Back Your Ex” by visiting my website on getting back together with your ex.

Click here to learn more about how to
get back together with your ex…

What if you’ve already made these mistakes? Is it still possible to get your ex back?

The short answer is “yes.” While making these mistakes is not a good thing, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible to get back together with your ex. My approach helps repair the damage caused by these mistakes (you’ll learn more about this in my book in the section on “the push and pull”) in the process of getting your ex back.

Learn about “How to Get Back Your Ex” >>>

Is It Possible To Get Your Ex Back?

Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless And You Are The Only One Trying? Is it possible to get your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back, even if your situation seems hopeless and you are the only one trying?

What if your ex is avoiding you and refuses to pick up the phone or reply your text messages?

Well, TW Jackson, author of The Magic of Making Up has the following answer:

“Did you know that most relationships CAN be salvaged? You may find it difficult to believe that almost every break up for whatever reason…infidelity, plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse…even the worst situations you can imagine,like men serving prison sentences have salvaged their relationships. Yes, even Ex-cons have got back together with girlfriends and wives after being away for years!”

“Couples reunite every day Regardless of the situation!”

The Next Important Question You Must Ask Yourself……

Should You Get Back With Your Ex?

7 Biggest Mistakes People

Make When Trying to Get Their

Ex Back

1^st Mistake: Professing Your Undying Love

This is the and extremely common mistake, and the very first mistake that most people make… I am extremely guilty of this mistake (all of them actually):

“How can we break up? I love you SO much!”

“You wouldn’t leave me if you only understood how much I need you!”

“My life will be miserable without you… Please don’t leave me!”

It is a common belief that love will conquer everything. This simply is not the case sometimes. I am not trying to be a downer or anything, but this is simply the truth.

You may love your ex incredibly, but for the relationship to work, your ex obviously has to love you back. Sometimes even just plain love is not enough. I will explain what I mean:

We have the “I care about you” love. This is the type of love you have for a friend or family member. It is not a romantic relationship type of love. It is not the type of love to give you a successful and joyful relationship.

Then we have the “I want to be with you” love. This is the love we want. It involves romance, excitement, as well as desire to be with someone. This is the romantic love that will bring people together, keep couples together, and get them back together after a break up.

This kind of love will keep people working on their relationship rather than walking away. This is where most of us need a little bit of help… rebuilding the “I want to be with you” love in your ex. It is very tough because there is no magic pill or button you can push to make them feel this way again.

And actually, the harder you try, the more it pushes them from wanting to feel this kind of love with you! You have to make your ex feel this love without letting them know that you are doing it. You can have an influence on how they react if you control what you do and say… which I understand, is easier said than done in this situation. It took me a long time to figure this out for myself.

2^nd Mistake: Feeling Sorry for Yourself

What first attracted your ex to you? Do you remember? It could

be a variety of different things, but I can tell you what it was not: It was not you acting sad and depressed. In almost all cases you will not attract a lover by acting sad.

The exact opposite attitude is what attracts people… we want to be with someone that is positive, confident, and genuinely happy. The problem is that in this post break up state of mind, we convince ourselves that making our ex feel sorry for us will surely being them back.

It often causes us to do stupid things that we wouldn’t normally

do. If we can just show him/her how much pain they are causing us, then they will come back… not the case though.

We end up doing the exact opposite of what brought us together to begin with! We should be trying to make ourselves feel and look better, but we spend our time trying to make ourselves feel worse and look worse… whether intentional or not.

If you can attempt to look at it from an outsider’s perspective, you can very easily tell that this is absolutely not the correct way to go about things. Other than just making you feel worse, it will hurt your chances of ever getting back together. By acting like this, it just helps prove that they made the right choice to leave.

If you are acting like this, please stop immediately! And once again, I know it is much easier said than done, but it must be done. I have been there in your shoes before and I learned this the very hard way.

3^rd Mistake: Bribery

You main objective is to get your ex back and rebuild the relationship that you once had. I have many times heard the saying, “All is fair in love and war.” That is not true though.

Using anything at all to bribe, or force your ex to get back with you in not a good idea. Not only is it just not the type of relationship you want, it will piss your ex off.

These tactics backfire much more than they succeed.

Your ex will most likely see exactly what you are trying to pull, and it will make it MUCH harder to make some headway.

This is giving them ammunition to fire back at you, and reason not to get back with you.

Let’s say you were successful in getting them back using these tactics though. Your relationship would not be a good one. There will always be a resentment from them to you because of them feeling forced or trapped back into the relationship.

The type of relationship we are looking for cannot be built on the basis of bad tactics. This next part may hurt if you fit it, but it is the truth: If you have been using a manipulative tactic you seriously need to examine yourself and your feelings for

your ex. If you are willing to treat them badly, how much do you really care about them? If you have no trouble resorting to unfair tactics, they may be better off without you.

If you have been using these negative tactics, my best suggestion for you is to get a copy of The Magic of Making Up. It has some absolutely amazing tips that will help you get your shoulders on straight in no time at all.

4^th Mistake: Rationalizing, Assuring, and Debating

Words can be very persuasive when convincing us to do something that we already want to do. We can go along with it without any resistance. If we are being persuaded into doing something we do not want to do, it usually sets us more in our ways AGAINST whatever is being said.

Trying to assure your ex that they want to get back to you is simply trying to assure them they want to do something that they already decided they didn’t want to do..

As you come up with an argument to assure your ex that they made the wrong decision, they will be coming up with counters to everything you suggest. This means they are going to be justifying their decision, and the more they say it, the more they feel it.

It is like pulling a donkey on a rope: The harder you pull, the more they just work against you and pull the other way. You are helping to set their reasons for the breakup into stone by making them repeat it.

It does seem like a perfectly good and reasonable thing to do. Surely they will see it your way if you just explain it more clearly to them… but it just does not work like that.

5^th Mistake: “I really have changed”

We are creatures of habit. It is said all the time. Nobody expects us to become a completely new person over night. We won’t wake up in the morning with completely different feelings and attitudes. The person you are today is most likely the exact same person you will be tomorrow.

Telling your ex that you are a changed person and you will be different this time, is completely against everything we have ever known. Would you believe someone you know very well that came up to you one day and told you how completely different they are in a matter of hours?

When you say you have changed, it means you are going to try to be different in the future. It may actually be very easy to be different right now, but it is tough to keep it up. It is actually a promise that you will attempt to do something in the future, not a change right now as you are claiming.

I am not saying that you can not change at all. Over time you can change, but drastic changes do not happen over night. Do not tell your ex how you are different… let them see it in the way you act and hear it in the way you talk.

6^th Mistake: Egos

It is embarrassed to be on the receiving end of a break up.

It feels as if they are saying to you, “I can do better than you; you are not good enough for me.” That is a real slap in the face. It makes sense that this would hurt our pride.

The one that feels insulted here is hostile and will quite possibly ruin their chance for making up because they feel like they were wronged. It is common to think, “My ex hurt me, they should be the one to fix this, not me.”

The steps to getting their ex back can be blocked by this hostility that has formed and the sense that they will be embarrassed more if they try to get their ex back.

A reason that the egos get in the way is that people feel like in order to get their ex back they will have to beg and get down on their knees and give up all of their pride.

By this point in the report, you know that this stuff is not only unnecessary, it is a bad idea all around. It is an example of what we talked about earlier that will just push them farther away from you.

7^th Mistake: Wishful Thinking

In the movies we hear about “If you love something, let it go” and then they always come back on their own.

It’s very comforting to believe that fate has something in store for us; I just know I am going to win the lottery, so I don’t need to get a job. But the movies are wrong; we create our own future and our own success. Of course, sometimes it is just as Forrest Gump said, “Sh*t happens,” but most of the time it happens because of something else… not spontaneously. If you really do want to get your ex back, you are going to have to make it happen. But do NOT do the first things that come to mind, which I have just outlined for you.

You have to make them want you enough that the reasons for the breakup are insignificant and do not matter at all anymore.

Your role in causing your ex to change their thinking is still going to be somewhat passive. You are not going to directly change their mind, but indirectly.

You are not going to work on your ex, you are going to work on yourself. You will make yourself become a better person, and your ex will realize it and follow right along. If people decide something on their own, even if they had help in deciding it, they are much more apt to stick with their decision.

If you can not wait for me to write you again, then I suggest you have a look at The Magic of Making Up. I can not stress how much this guide has helped me and countless others. It has literally saved many people’s lives, and I would love to see it help you too!