Getting back together with your ex boyfriend isn’t necessarily going to be easy, but I can show you how a fair amount of self-work and dedication to the cause can make it be a lot easier than it could be. If you’re going to make him want to come back to you, you’ll have to make some compromises and sacrifices, but that’s just the give-and-take of a healthy relationship.
The odds are highly stacked that if your ex was the one who ended the relationship, it was one of two things that caused it…either things had become stale and dull, or they’d gotten claustrophobic. Either you weren’t in his life enough or you were in it too much. Dull relationships with not much ever going on or relationships with an overbearing woman who simply MUST be a part of every facet of his life…both are going to make him run.
So how do you manage to get him back after he’s run away? Well, you stop doing the things that make him want to run. Take a look at your relationship with him, and figure out what sort of conditions led to him taking off. Be prepared to accept that if he left, the bulk of the problem is probably in things you’re responsible for…I’m not trying to insult you, that’s just the recipe of a breakup: the person leaving is having problems with the person being left.
Analyze yourself and come up with the things that you did to contribute to the end of the relationship. Once you’ve figured out what you’re responsible for, you can do something to fix it. If yours is like one of the cases I’ve mentioned, I can help you a bit.
If things were going slow between you and just drifting, make up your mind to do more with your partner! Go out more, spend time together, do things that are fun for both of you! A relationship shouldn’t be boring, it should be the most wonderful time of your life! Don’t let it get stale with inactivity, it’s just such a waste of what could be such a good thing.
If you were having some issues letting him run his own life, try backing off a little and remembering that he IS an intelligent person who can think for himself without having you on his back all the time. We laugh at it in the movies, but a controlling woman is a nightmare in real life. Try not to be the number he doesn’t want to see on his Caller ID, or the person he doesn’t want standing in the doorway when he comes home. Give the guy some room!
So take the initial period after the breakup to give your ex boyfriend some space without you, and utilize the time apart to do this self-analysis and really address the issues you two faced. Don’t bother him about anything for a while, and when the time seems right to go ahead and establish contact again, go about it gently. Chances are he won’t want to talk to you very much, so keep it light and simple. A basic “hey, how have you been?” is about all you should be planning at this stage.
Once you’ve been talking for a while, and tension is relaxing, you guys will probably start seeing each other in person again. When this happens, it’s important to do things together that you two always used to enjoy as a couple. Mini golf, going to see movies, taking the dogs for a walk…whatever times the two of you used to share that were really fun and relaxing, do things with him that will remind him of them. He’ll start to see you like he did then, and he may even decide for himself that he wants to get back together and give it another try.
All through the time you’re together here, try to let the things you’ve done to work on yourself show for themselves without calling deliberate attention to them. If he can see how hard you’ve worked to make yourself a more compatible match with him, I can almost guarantee he’ll be impressed with your efforts.
From this point it’s really all in how you handle things. I can’t make a 100% promise that anything you do will work to make him want to get back together with you, but among your choices that give you the best chances, the things I’ve told you here should do fairly well towards paving the way to the healing of your relationship and the start of a new one.
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