If you’re serious about getting back together with your ex boyfriend, let me tell you that it’s not going to be easy by any means. Any healthy relationship is give-and-take, with a healthy helping of compromise and sacrifice…but if you take my advice, your fight to get him back can be a little less difficult.
It’s a pretty reasonable assumption that if your ex was the one who did the leaving, it’s because of one of two things. Either he was getting tired of the relationship growing stale from lack of activity between you two, or he was running for his life from a woman who couldn’t let go and let him live his own life. Either of these two possibilities is plenty enough reason for a man to want to leave.
Getting him back after he’s run away like that isn’t a picnic in a sunny park, but if you stop doing the things that made him want to leave you, you have a pretty decent shot of fixing your mistakes. Take a look at yourself and the relationship, and figure out what things that led to the breakup were your fault…and yes, a lot of it will be your fault. Not playing blame games, just saying that generally the person doing the leaving is having an issue with the person being left.
So take a good look at your relationship problems. There are a lot of different things that could lead to a relationship’s demise, but if the biggest one was one that I mentioned, I can help you out a bit.
If your biggest problem was a lack of activity in the relationship that led to it getting stale, it’s really pretty sad. There’s no excuse for letting a relationship just peter out and expire. If you two love each other, you should do things with each other…spend time with one another, and live your lives together. Being bored with your partner is a tragedy that shouldn’t ever get the chance to occur.
If you were being a bit controlling and refusing to back out of his personal matters and let him live his own life, you need to realize that boxing the guy in isn’t going to prevent his escape. Oh sure, we laugh when we see a guy being hounded by his girlfriend on TV, but in real life it’s a different matter. Having somebody constantly looking over your shoulder and nagging you is horrible, and even if you feel you’re entitled to butt in everywhere, you need to relax a little and have some confidence that he can run his own life.
After the breakup, give your boyfriend some space and time to pull himself together. A breakup is hard on both people, and pressing him now is a bad idea that could only seal the deal. Instead, do this self-evaluation and work I’ve been talking about, and when the time is right you can contact him again. However, when you DO contact him, make sure you’re keeping it light and simple. Too much too fast won’t help you.
If you play your cards right in the initial contact, you guys will probably start seeing each other again face to face. When you get to this point, it’s a smart idea to spend your time together doing things you both always enjoyed as a couple. Doing this stirs up happy memories and paints a better picture of you in his eyes. It could even rekindle some feelings.
And while you guys are spending time together, be sure to allow the work you’ve been doing on yourself to shine out and be noticed. Don’t wave a yellow neon flag that says “hey look what I did,” but if you let it speak for itself, the work you’ve done will probably impress him to no end.
Where you go from here is up to you. I can’t say that any given method will have a 100% success rate, but the advice I’ve given you here is pretty much priceless. If you’re careful in your execution and sincere in your dedication to fixing the problems, you have a very good shot of getting your ex boyfriend back.
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