Getting your ex Boyfriend Back

Going through a breakup is hard, that’s pretty much universally-known. What’s NOT as well-known is that it really doesn’t have to be, considering you can put an end to all the breakup pain by following a few simple steps to get your ex back. Sound good? Keep reading!

As complicated as the process for getting your ex back really is, it can be simplified and divided up into five steps that make it a lot easier to handle. Consider these to be chunks of a much bigger object called “getting your life back on track.” I’ll try to keep it as simple as I can while still giving you all you need to know about each step.

Step 1: Don’t go rushing to try to get your ex to take you back. This is exactly the wrong thing to do, considering your ex most likely doesn’t exactly want to talk to you right now. Give him/her some space and time to gather his/her wits. Breakups are just as stressful for your ex as they are for you.

Step 2: During the time off from your ex, be constructive. Really analyze how your relationship went awry. What things were YOU responsible for? How could you fix those things so that they couldn’t affect your relationships anymore EVER? These are the things you need to think about, and what’s more…you have to actually take action and change so that you never make those mistakes again! I know that’s a really heavy thing to simply call “Step 2,” but that’s how it is.

Step 3: Once enough time has passed, and you’re well on your way to “flawlessness,” you can go ahead and make contact again with your ex. Remember to keep it very light and simple, just a phone call or email message to see how he/she’s been doing. You don’t want to charge right in with the “please come back” attack, for the same reasons as in Step 1. Just take it slow.

Step 4: After building up contact very slowly and nonaggressively, the two of you are probably going to start spending time with each other again. Use this time to do things together that both of you always really enjoyed. It helps to bring back fond memories and rekindle old feelings. Also let your ex see the effects of the changes you’ve been making, impressing him/her could work to your advantage as well.

Step 5: If all the things you’ve done have worked out, and you manage to impress your ex and achieve a second chance at making the relationship work, now comes a very essential part of it all. If you get your ex back, you have to KEEP him/her. You have to stick to the changes you’ve made in yourself. If you just let it all hang out again, you’ll lose him/her again…and this time you may not be able to get your ex back.

So always remember that sacrifice and compromise is a massive part of any well-running relationship. Both people have needs that must be met, and YOU are concerned with your PARTNER’s. Neglecting what your partner needs is the fastest and most efficient way to make that partner into an ex…possibly, for good.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

The vast majority of the time when your girlfriend leaves you, it’s generally because of something really stupid you either said or did. That should probably come as no surprise to you. What may be surprising to learn is that dealing with these insane creatures called women doesn’t have to be so dang hard, not if you know what you’ve been doing wrong and can fix it!

And that’s where I come in. Due to my own personal experiences, I’ve become rather well-versed in the many things that we idiots can do to really tick off our lovely ladies and make them want to strangle us but settle for leaving us. I am here to help you avoid the gravest mistakes or fix the ones you’ve made, by providing this “for-men-by-men” guide to not making your woman leave you…or murder you.

1) Top thing that makes girls really itch for your throat is when you just don’t pay attention to her. Guys, you should know better. Women want to feel like their opinions and viewpoints matter to you. If they don’t get the feeling that they’re being heard when they talk for hours on end, they might stop talking to you altogether…and that’s NOT a good thing. A woman requires constant attention.

That can be a little tricky sometimes though…too much attention and she’ll think you’re an obsessed freak who collects strands of her hair and rolls them into little balls and puts them in a locked chest. Obviously this is an impression you want to avoid, so finding that balance is essential. Best advice is to just listen to her. Like, actually listen. She’ll TELL you what she wants. Usually.

2) Women have a term they use that as far as I can tell doesn’t really mean much. The term is “emotionally supportive,” and as best as I can cipher it basically refers to a man who can read women’s minds and know exactly what they want you to do or say at all the right times to make her feel loved. Basically they need a guy who listens well enough to know her as well as she knows herself.

There are a privileged few in the world of men who come by this talent naturally. I hate those scumbags, as I’m not one of them. If you’re like me, it requires a lot of attention and devotion to really pick up on all the little clues they give you as to exactly what they want. Really, if you can perfect item number 1, you can probably do okay with this one.

3) Oh my God, do NOT let a woman catch you cheating on her. And by that I don’t mean do it carefully, I mean don’t do it. Women may take slightly less offense to other women cheating on their men, but a man who cheats is sin itself and must be brutally destroyed by any means necessary. Most of us guys know it’s “bad” to cheat on a woman, but the majority of us may not know exactly what “cheating” is as a woman sees it.

Forget that other women exist. From now on, all women other than your girlfriend should be seen like you see your mother. She’s not a woman, right? She’s your mother. You do not TALK to other women. You do not LOOK at other women. You do not THINK ABOUT other women. You do not FANTASIZE about other women. All of these things are considered cheating and will get you slaughtered by a mob of angry girls.

4) For crying out loud, there is more trouble in the home than there has any right to be. When living with your girlfriend, simply accept the fact that you are GOING to help out around the house. You are fully capable of taking out the trash whether you want to or not, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll just do what your girl says and hope she doesn’t make you sleep on the couch.

So that’s the main list of stupid things we guys do. You may be wondering about why this could really help you if you’re already broken up, and that’s a fair question. Fact is, not everyone who is broken up, STAYS broken up, and if you manage to get a second chance with her you do NOT want to make the same mistakes again. Also, addressing these potential problems can help you out a lot with any other women you end up dating in your life.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

It should come as no surprise to you that breakups aren’t much fun. In fact, it’s pretty common knowledge that they’re a pain. A lot less known is that you can put an end to all the breakup pain if you follow the steps I have laid out for you to get your ex back.

Getting your ex back may not be the easiest or most simple thing in the world, but it’s a lot easier if you look at it in terms of “chunks” or steps. The division isn’t perfect, as some chunks are bigger than others, but if you take it one step at a time, you have a good chance of getting your ex back.

Step 1: I know that after a breakup it’s almost standard impulse to want to chase down your ex and plead with him/her to give things another chance. That’s really about the LAST thing you want to do straight away. Your ex doesn’t want to talk right now, give him/her some space. You’ll get the chance to talk later.

Step 2: Take advantage of the downtime to work on the things you did or didn’t do that contributed to the breakup. Every couple has flaws equally divided, but the person who gets broken up with usually has more. These things have to be addressed and dealt with, or else you can’t expect anything better from new relationships than the fate of the old one. Make the necessary changes. Yeah, this is the main chunk that’s bigger than the others, but it’s important.

Step 3: Once you’ve had sufficient time to recover from the breakup and really get yourself back into order, you can go ahead and contact your ex. Do so lightly at first, and keep away from aggressive relationship talk. Just give him/her a phone call or email asking how they’ve been doing. It’s light, it makes contact, and it serves as a good starting point for slightly escalating contacts.

Step 4: The odds aren’t bad that if you played your first contacts well, the two of you will start spending some time together again. At this point, it’s a good idea to do things with your ex that you both used to really enjoy doing as a couple. This brings up happy memories and could help to turn back on your ex’s feelings for you. Also take this time to let the work you’ve been doing on yourself to speak for itself.

Step 5: It’s not sure-fire that your ex will want to get back together, but the chances are pretty good…and if you two DO give it another try, it’s critical that you not screw up now. So you got your ex back…now KEEP him/her! Don’t make the same mistakes again, and try to avoid any new ones too! This could be your last chance!

You’ll have a lot of sacrifice and compromise in any relationship, it’s just what’s necessary for two people to share something so close. It’s important to keep from messing up and doing the same mistakes you already made that cost you your first relationship, because next time there may not be any chance to make things right.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

Most of the time when your girlfriend dumps you…it’s not her, it’s you. Guys, we’re some of the dumbest oafs around when it comes to relationships, and we’re always doing SOMETHING wrong. Girls may not be the easiest creatures to understand, and relationships with them can be a bit difficult to manage…but really if you can figure out your problems you can solve them.

That’s why I’m writing this for you, as a friendly man-to-man resource for a few of the things we frequently do that tick our ladies off and make them want to leave. Sure there are women nice enough to painstakingly list off our every faults for us, but not every guy is so lucky as to have one. Not to worry, bro…I will help you through this madness.

1) First main thing that girls really despise when men do is when they don’t pay attention to them. This really drives a girl nutso, because it can feel like they require our every waking moment to be devoted to them and only them, or else we don’t love them. Of course this assumption is completely false, but girls seem to need us to pay constant attention to them.

NOT paying constant attention to them makes them think we don’t love them, but when we DO pay constant attention to them they start acting like we’re freaks. There IS a happy medium somewhere in there, but the exact level varies for each girl. Best solution here is to simply listen to her and figure out what she specifically needs, attention-wise.

2) There’s this concept that women have, called “emotional support.” They need their guys to be “emotionally supportive” of them. Best as I can figure it, it’s kinda related to item number 1 on this list, but a little more expansive. Girls need to feel like their guys really understand them, and can get to know them almost as well as they know themselves.

Guys who can do this naturally are referred to as having “game.” This simply means that a guy is naturally good at reading women and understanding the things to say and do to make their hearts melt. Your supreme goal here is to make the girl feel like she and her feelings are both very important to you…and the best way to do this is to really listen to her and read her body language.

3) Women really kinda hate it when guys cheat on them, even if some of these same girls would gladly cheat on their guys. Of course we all realize this is a no-no, and wouldn’t be too happy if our girls cheated on us…but sometimes we either have a momentary lapse of stupidity, or we don’t realize what exactly constitutes “cheating” in the female mind.

You don’t have to have sex with another woman to be “cheating.” A lot of the time all it takes is a single look of appreciation at another woman’s finer physical “assets” for your girlfriend to take offense. Even fantasies about pornstars or celebrities can be a no-no, it just depends on the girlfriend. Best and safest bet is to forget that other girls exist, and think like they’re just other guys who look different.

4) When you’re living with a woman, helping around the house can become a sore point…she expects you to do it, and you don’t want to. I understand not wanting to get up and clean stuff or take out the trash, but you have to really consider whether or not it’s worth ticking your girlfriend off. Take my advice…just get up off your lazy butt and do a few chores.

So how does this help you if you’ve already broken up with her? Well, once you can identify the things you’ve done wrong in the past, you can start working to avoid doing them in the future. Whether it’s with your now-ex-girlfriend or with a new woman, you’ll be much less likely to make her leave again if you can keep from making these idiot classic “guy” blunders.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

It’s a general rule that when your girlfriend decides to leave you, you’ve done something wrong. Chances are, you’ve done a lot of somethings wrong. Fellas, we’re pretty accurately labeled as the dumber of the two genders, and when dealing with creatures as confusing as women, it’s not surprising that we make blunders that make them leave. HOWEVER, we CAN deal with them if we know how.

So that’s why I’m here, to list off the main stupid things we often do to anger our lovely, gentle little flowers and make them grow thorns. What’s more, I’m going to tell you how to get through the stupid things we do, at least the ones I’m covering in this article. Here’s a resource written for a man, by a man, to deal with women in relationships.

1) Number one thing that women hate about guys is that they just don’t pay attention to their ladies. Sure she talks a lot, but it’s USUALLY a good idea to listen to her. Even if she’s talking about things that make absolutely no sense to you, you need to pay attention to her and act like you understand. If she doesn’t get constant attention when she’s speaking, somehow you don’t love her.

Of course, this can be a bit contrary sometimes. You don’t want to pay TOO MUCH attention to her, because that’s considered “weird” or “scary.” Achieving a balance is very difficult, as you have to pay enough attention to satisfy her without hanging on her every word and freaking her out. Since every girl’s different, best idea is to simply listen to figure out exactly what she needs.

2) There’s this term women use…it’s called when a guy is being “emotionally supportive” of his woman. This term means absolutely nothing as far as I can figure…basically it’s just a way of measuring how well a guy knows his girl. It’s kinda related to List Item #1, but a bit expanded. Women are looking for when a guy pays enough attention to a girl so that he knows her almost as well as she knows herself.

There are a few lucky guys out there who come by this naturally, and those are the guys who have “game.” Women naturally love these fellas, because the boys naturally understand the women and what makes them happy. What to say, what to do…it varies from woman to woman, and only astute observation and attention paid to detail can make up for a lack of natural talent here.

3) Of course, there’s the hot-button issue of “cheating” on one another. When girls do it to their boyfriend, it’s not nearly as bad as when a guy does it to his girl…at least by their standards. Heck, most of us know how bad it is, but as I’m sure I’ve said before…we’re idiots. It gets even worse when you realize exactly what constitutes “cheating” in the female mind.

You see, having sex with another woman is only the most extreme case of cheating. Talking to other women, looking at other women, even fantasies including other women can all be considered cheating as far as girls are concerned. Sure, girls can flirt all they want with whoever they want, but to us guys it’s best that we forget that girls other than our ladies even exist…they’re all just funny-looking guys with long hair.

4) And of course, there’s always going to be trouble at home. What I mean is, if you live with your girlfriend…there’ll be issues about how you divide up housework and household responsibilities. Rarely does this in itself end a relationship, but refusing to take out the trash can be a breaking point. Do yourself a favor…do what she tells you. It’s just easier that way.

So why am I telling you all this? What good does it do you if you’ve already broken up with her? Well, this has been a list of things you could do WRONG, right? Well, how about you stop doing these things? It’ll make your future relationships better, and if you manage to get your ex girlfriend back, you’ll have a lot better chance of making it work this time.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

It’s a general rule that when your girlfriend decides to leave you, you’ve done something wrong. Chances are, you’ve done a lot of somethings wrong. Fellas, we’re pretty accurately labeled as the dumber of the two genders, and when dealing with creatures as confusing as women, it’s not surprising that we make blunders that make them leave. HOWEVER, we CAN deal with them if we know how.

So that’s why I’m here, to list off the main stupid things we often do to anger our lovely, gentle little flowers and make them grow thorns. What’s more, I’m going to tell you how to get through the stupid things we do, at least the ones I’m covering in this article. Here’s a resource written for a man, by a man, to deal with women in relationships.

1) Number one thing that women hate about guys is that they just don’t pay attention to their ladies. Sure she talks a lot, but it’s USUALLY a good idea to listen to her. Even if she’s talking about things that make absolutely no sense to you, you need to pay attention to her and act like you understand. If she doesn’t get constant attention when she’s speaking, somehow you don’t love her.

Of course, this can be a bit contrary sometimes. You don’t want to pay TOO MUCH attention to her, because that’s considered “weird” or “scary.” Achieving a balance is very difficult, as you have to pay enough attention to satisfy her without hanging on her every word and freaking her out. Since every girl’s different, best idea is to simply listen to figure out exactly what she needs.

2) There’s this term women use…it’s called when a guy is being “emotionally supportive” of his woman. This term means absolutely nothing as far as I can figure…basically it’s just a way of measuring how well a guy knows his girl. It’s kinda related to List Item #1, but a bit expanded. Women are looking for when a guy pays enough attention to a girl so that he knows her almost as well as she knows herself.

There are a few lucky guys out there who come by this naturally, and those are the guys who have “game.” Women naturally love these fellas, because the boys naturally understand the women and what makes them happy. What to say, what to do…it varies from woman to woman, and only astute observation and attention paid to detail can make up for a lack of natural talent here.

3) Of course, there’s the hot-button issue of “cheating” on one another. When girls do it to their boyfriend, it’s not nearly as bad as when a guy does it to his girl…at least by their standards. Heck, most of us know how bad it is, but as I’m sure I’ve said before…we’re idiots. It gets even worse when you realize exactly what constitutes “cheating” in the female mind.

You see, having sex with another woman is only the most extreme case of cheating. Talking to other women, looking at other women, even fantasies including other women can all be considered cheating as far as girls are concerned. Sure, girls can flirt all they want with whoever they want, but to us guys it’s best that we forget that girls other than our ladies even exist…they’re all just funny-looking guys with long hair.

4) And of course, there’s always going to be trouble at home. What I mean is, if you live with your girlfriend…there’ll be issues about how you divide up housework and household responsibilities. Rarely does this in itself end a relationship, but refusing to take out the trash can be a breaking point. Do yourself a favor…do what she tells you. It’s just easier that way.

So why am I telling you all this? What good does it do you if you’ve already broken up with her? Well, this has been a list of things you could do WRONG, right? Well, how about you stop doing these things? It’ll make your future relationships better, and if you manage to get your ex girlfriend back, you’ll have a lot better chance of making it work this time.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

I bet you probably already knew how hard it is to go through a breakup. That’s pretty much a rule of the world that most people know. Something you may NOT know is that you can put an end to all that breakup pain by following a few easy steps for getting back your ex. Interested? Read on!

There may really be a lot involved in getting back your ex, but I’ve come up with a way to break it down into a few “chunks” that make it a bit easier to swallow. Some chunks are kinda big, but if you really stick to it, you can get your life back on track easier than you think.

Step 1: Your first impulse directly after the breakup is usually to plague your ex with what I call the “take me back -attack.” This is a BAD IDEA. Your ex will NOT want to talk to you right now, it’s still too painful. Give the poor person some space, and frankly you could use it too.

Step 2: While the two of you are “on-break” and not talking, take advantage of the time you have to yourself to really work on yourself. Figure out any flaws you had or mistakes you made that really contributed to the breakup. Whether the list is long or short, there WILL be one…if there wasn’t, there wouldn’t be a breakup. Once you’ve identified the problems, get to work fixing them! It’s a difficult process, but it’s extremely important that you never make the same mistakes again.

Step 3: By the time you’ve made a lot of progress on your mistakes, it’ll probably be an okay time to re-establish contact with your ex. Keep in mind that this is still a fragile time, so keep it very light and simple. Just a phone call or an email saying “hey, how have you been?” is sufficient. It opens up an avenue of contact, and expresses that you DO care about how they’ve been handling the breakup.

Step 4: If the first contacts work out, you’ll probably slowly start spending more time with each other. During these occasions, don’t be aggressive…just do things with your ex that you both used to really enjoy. This is great for rekindling old memories and feelings. Second, use this time to let the work you’ve been doing on yourself speak for itself.

Step 5: Chances are your ex just won’t be ready for another try, but if it turns out that you two DO get back together, your chief job becomes not to screw it up again. A broken relationship, even one that’s been mended, is still fragile. You have to work really hard to not make the same mistakes again, and make sure your partner’s being taken care of.

In any relationship, there’s a lot of give-and-take. That’s just how it works whenever there are two people involved. Sacrifice and compromise are a part of the natural order of relationships. Remember to make sure your partner is getting what’s needed from your relationship, because if another breakup happens…it’s probably going to be permanent this time.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

If you’re serious about getting back together with your ex boyfriend, let me tell you that it’s not going to be easy by any means. Any healthy relationship is give-and-take, with a healthy helping of compromise and sacrifice…but if you take my advice, your fight to get him back can be a little less difficult.

It’s a pretty reasonable assumption that if your ex was the one who did the leaving, it’s because of one of two things. Either he was getting tired of the relationship growing stale from lack of activity between you two, or he was running for his life from a woman who couldn’t let go and let him live his own life. Either of these two possibilities is plenty enough reason for a man to want to leave.

Getting him back after he’s run away like that isn’t a picnic in a sunny park, but if you stop doing the things that made him want to leave you, you have a pretty decent shot of fixing your mistakes. Take a look at yourself and the relationship, and figure out what things that led to the breakup were your fault…and yes, a lot of it will be your fault. Not playing blame games, just saying that generally the person doing the leaving is having an issue with the person being left.

So take a good look at your relationship problems. There are a lot of different things that could lead to a relationship’s demise, but if the biggest one was one that I mentioned, I can help you out a bit.

If your biggest problem was a lack of activity in the relationship that led to it getting stale, it’s really pretty sad. There’s no excuse for letting a relationship just peter out and expire. If you two love each other, you should do things with each other…spend time with one another, and live your lives together. Being bored with your partner is a tragedy that shouldn’t ever get the chance to occur.

If you were being a bit controlling and refusing to back out of his personal matters and let him live his own life, you need to realize that boxing the guy in isn’t going to prevent his escape. Oh sure, we laugh when we see a guy being hounded by his girlfriend on TV, but in real life it’s a different matter. Having somebody constantly looking over your shoulder and nagging you is horrible, and even if you feel you’re entitled to butt in everywhere, you need to relax a little and have some confidence that he can run his own life.

After the breakup, give your boyfriend some space and time to pull himself together. A breakup is hard on both people, and pressing him now is a bad idea that could only seal the deal. Instead, do this self-evaluation and work I’ve been talking about, and when the time is right you can contact him again. However, when you DO contact him, make sure you’re keeping it light and simple. Too much too fast won’t help you.

If you play your cards right in the initial contact, you guys will probably start seeing each other again face to face. When you get to this point, it’s a smart idea to spend your time together doing things you both always enjoyed as a couple. Doing this stirs up happy memories and paints a better picture of you in his eyes. It could even rekindle some feelings.

And while you guys are spending time together, be sure to allow the work you’ve been doing on yourself to shine out and be noticed. Don’t wave a yellow neon flag that says “hey look what I did,” but if you let it speak for itself, the work you’ve done will probably impress him to no end.

Where you go from here is up to you. I can’t say that any given method will have a 100% success rate, but the advice I’ve given you here is pretty much priceless. If you’re careful in your execution and sincere in your dedication to fixing the problems, you have a very good shot of getting your ex boyfriend back.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

Compromise and sacrifice are a critical part in the give-and-take aspect of any healthy relationship, and if you really want to get your ex boyfriend back you’re going to need to keep that in mind. Nothing makes mending a broken relationship easy, but the advice I have for you can make it a lot less difficult to make him want to come back to you.

When a relationship fails, usually that’s a good indication of something being wrong. If he left you, that something was likely one of two things: either the relationship was getting stale with not enough of you in it or it was getting claustrophobic with too much of you in it. Either situation here is relationship suicide.

Whatever the issue that chiefly contributed to the breakup, it was probably something you did or didn’t do. That’s a little harsh I know, but that’s just how things usually work: the brokenupwith does something to drive the breakerupper away. So how do you manage to get him to come back? Well, you stop doing whatever it was that made him run.

Really take a look at your situation, and determine what things that eventually led to the breakup were your fault and which weren’t. Discard the ones that weren’t your fault (since you can’t really do anything about them) and focus on the things you CAN change, the things that you’re responsible for. If your biggest problem was either of the things I talked about above, I may be able to offer some help.

If your main problem was a stale lack of activity in your relationship, you just have to pick it up a little. Get out, do stuff with him! Since right now you two probably aren’t speaking, make this a new mindset of yours rather than putting it into effect right this instant. Just think of things for the two of you to do together that are fun for both of you…no relationship should die because nobody was taking care of it.

On the other hand, if you were way too much into his life, you need to pull back a little. No matter how much evidence may seem to support the contrary opinion, you have to remember that your boyfriend is an intelligent person with a mind of his own. You may not be so drastic as to constantly remind him to tie his shoes or comb his hair, but nagging is still nagging. Guys need a bit of space to be really comfortable, and when you take away all his space and stop letting him think for himself…well, he runs like hell in the other direction.

So if he’s run, take the time right after the separation to give each other some space…and for you to do this analysis I’ve been telling you to do. Once you’ve dealt with your problems and are “on the road to recovery,” you can make contact with him again –but keep it light and simple! This is a fragile time, anything that makes him uncomfortable can drive the nails in the coffin lid of your relationship. Don’t be too forward, just say something along the lines of “hey, just wondering how you’re doing.” Slow and steady wins the race.

And once you’ve been in contact a little bit, chances are good that you guys will start seeing each other face-to-face again. When this happens, it’s all about doing things that the two of you enjoy…if possible at all, doing things the two of you used to really like doing together when you were a couple. It’ll bring back fond memories, and possibly stir up some old feelings.

Always try to let the changes you’ve made to yourself speak for themselves without announcing them. If he simply notices that all of a sudden you’re genuinely more enthusiastically into the relationship, or all of a sudden you’re backing off a bit and letting him think for himself…it’ll probably impress him quite a bit, and open a few doors.

There’s no guarantee that anything in particular will work 100% of the time, but the advice I’ve given you here is pretty universally tested, and it drastically raises your chances of managing to pull off a reunion with your ex. From here on, it’s in your hands.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

Getting back together with your ex boyfriend isn’t necessarily going to be easy, but I can show you how a fair amount of self-work and dedication to the cause can make it be a lot easier than it could be. If you’re going to make him want to come back to you, you’ll have to make some compromises and sacrifices, but that’s just the give-and-take of a healthy relationship.

The odds are highly stacked that if your ex was the one who ended the relationship, it was one of two things that caused it…either things had become stale and dull, or they’d gotten claustrophobic. Either you weren’t in his life enough or you were in it too much. Dull relationships with not much ever going on or relationships with an overbearing woman who simply MUST be a part of every facet of his life…both are going to make him run.

So how do you manage to get him back after he’s run away? Well, you stop doing the things that make him want to run. Take a look at your relationship with him, and figure out what sort of conditions led to him taking off. Be prepared to accept that if he left, the bulk of the problem is probably in things you’re responsible for…I’m not trying to insult you, that’s just the recipe of a breakup: the person leaving is having problems with the person being left.

Analyze yourself and come up with the things that you did to contribute to the end of the relationship. Once you’ve figured out what you’re responsible for, you can do something to fix it. If yours is like one of the cases I’ve mentioned, I can help you a bit.

If things were going slow between you and just drifting, make up your mind to do more with your partner! Go out more, spend time together, do things that are fun for both of you! A relationship shouldn’t be boring, it should be the most wonderful time of your life! Don’t let it get stale with inactivity, it’s just such a waste of what could be such a good thing.

If you were having some issues letting him run his own life, try backing off a little and remembering that he IS an intelligent person who can think for himself without having you on his back all the time. We laugh at it in the movies, but a controlling woman is a nightmare in real life. Try not to be the number he doesn’t want to see on his Caller ID, or the person he doesn’t want standing in the doorway when he comes home. Give the guy some room!

So take the initial period after the breakup to give your ex boyfriend some space without you, and utilize the time apart to do this self-analysis and really address the issues you two faced. Don’t bother him about anything for a while, and when the time seems right to go ahead and establish contact again, go about it gently. Chances are he won’t want to talk to you very much, so keep it light and simple. A basic “hey, how have you been?” is about all you should be planning at this stage.

Once you’ve been talking for a while, and tension is relaxing, you guys will probably start seeing each other in person again. When this happens, it’s important to do things together that you two always used to enjoy as a couple. Mini golf, going to see movies, taking the dogs for a walk…whatever times the two of you used to share that were really fun and relaxing, do things with him that will remind him of them. He’ll start to see you like he did then, and he may even decide for himself that he wants to get back together and give it another try.

All through the time you’re together here, try to let the things you’ve done to work on yourself show for themselves without calling deliberate attention to them. If he can see how hard you’ve worked to make yourself a more compatible match with him, I can almost guarantee he’ll be impressed with your efforts.

From this point it’s really all in how you handle things. I can’t make a 100% promise that anything you do will work to make him want to get back together with you, but among your choices that give you the best chances, the things I’ve told you here should do fairly well towards paving the way to the healing of your relationship and the start of a new one.

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